
^mjf t fzS~f\3 







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He would sink on the naked earth P 60. 



THE WRECK AND THE RESCUE. 



MEMOIR 

OF THE 

REV. HARRISON FAIRFIELD. 

WRITTEN CHIEFLY BY HIMSELF. 



EDITED AND PREPARED FOR PUBLICATION, BY 

ENOCH POND, D. D., 

IN THE THEOLOGICAL SEMINARY, BANGOR. 



"Go home to thy friends, and tell them how great things the Lord 
hath^done for thee, and hath had compassion on theeV-M A R K 



BOSTON.- 

MASSACHUSETTS SABBATH SCHOOL SOCIETY, 
Depository, No. 13 Corkhixl. 



. F*sA 



Entered, according to Act of Congress, in the year 1858, 

33g tij* fftassadjusetts SatoaHj ^tfjool ^octets, 

In the Clerk's Office of the District Court of Massachusetts. 



PEEFACE. 



Some years previous to his death, the late Rev. 
Harrison Fairfield prepared a memoir of himself, 
under an assumed name, in which he detailed faith- 
fully, the circumstances of his early life and conver- 
sion; the steps of his fall, his sufferings while a 
wanderer from God, and the wonderful dealings of 
God with him in regard to his recovery. He very 
appropriately entitled his Memoir, " The Wreck and 
the Rescue ; " and he assures us that "in every part 
and word, it is literally true." His design in it was to 
magnify the grace of God, and show the transcendent 
power of the gospel : — its power to descend into the 
lowest depths of human degradation, and to effect 
the recovery of a ruined soul, when all other expe- 
dients had failed. 

Circumstances prevented the publication of Mr. 
Fairfield's Memoir, while he lived; but since his 
death, it has occurred to many of his friends, that 
his good design in writing it ought not to be frus- 
trated ; that it ought, in some shape, to be given to 
the world. Accordingly, his papers were put into 



IV PREFACE. 

my hands some months ago, in the hope that I might 
be able to revise them, and prepare them for publica- 
tion. 

As Mr. Fairfield is now deceased, there seems to 
be no longer any reason why the assumed name 
should be retained. I have ventured, therefore, to 
drop it, and to substitute his own proper name. It 
will be seen, however, that the work is in most parts 
of it, an autobiography ; though the writer commonly 
speaks in the third person, he speaks of himself, 
and describes things which no being but himself 
could have known. 

In preparing the work for publication, I have 
sometimes changed the structure of the sentences, 
occasionally, I have omitted sentences which seem to 
be superfluous, and have thrown in others, where 
the sense or the connection obviously required it. 
But in no case, has the meaning, the sentiment, been 
changed. It stands, everywhere, as the author left it. 

For the last two chapters, bringing down the 
memoir to Mr. Fairfield's death, and closing with 
some additional remarks, the editor is alone respon- 
sible. 

It is earnestly hoped that the work may engage the 
attention of many in the younger walks of life, and 
especially young men. They will here see to what 
results a course of dissipation surely leads. They 
will see a living, speaking exemplification of the 
truth of Scriptures such as these ! " Evil men and 



PREFACE. V 

seducers wax worse and worse." " The way of 
transgressors is hard." 

I close with the following impressive words of 
Mr. Fairfield : " And now, dear reader, may God 
bless this humble effort to the everlasting good of 
your immortal soul. If you are tempted, take warn- 
ing. If you have wandered away from Christ, be 
admonished and encouraged to return. Great is Ms 
mercy : If it were not so, the subject of this memoir 
would now be in the world of despair." 
1* 



CONTENTS. 



CHAPTER I. 

Mr. Fairfield's birth— His native place — His parents 
— Mode of living in the first settlement of the 
town — Care of Providence for the early settlers- 
Mr. Fairfield's mother — Her conversion, charac- 
ter, and influence — His home described, as it was 
in his early life — Desirable progress since that 
period. 11 

C H A PT ER I I . 

Mr. Fairfield early impressed with a sense of his 
great sinfulness — The death of his father — Its 
effect upon his mind — His peculiarities of tem- 
perament — Bad companions — Their ruinous influ- 
ence—He is awakened, reformed, and hopefully 
converted — Becomes a member of the church, and 
walks worthily for a time 25 

C HAPTER III . 

Comparative ignorance of Mr. F. when he became a 
member of the church — Remarkable answer to 
prayer— Commencement of his declension— Neg- 



oil CONTENTS. 

lect of secret prayer and other religious duties — 
Excuses for the same — Fancies himself growing 
liberal and wise — Effect of reading works of fic- 
tion — Falls into the company of Universalists, 
and tries hard to be one — Exposes their sophis- 
tries, and the seductive nature of their system. . . 37 



CHAPTER IV. 

Painful contrast in the condition of Mr. F. — Death 
of his mother — His pride of character, and hard- 
ness of heart — Falls into the habit of drink- 
ing, and becomes a drunkard — The peculiar effect 
of strong drink upon him— His unutterable mise- 
ries — Is received twice into an insane hospital — 
Attempts to commit suicide, but is mercifully pre- 
vented — Friends disappointed and discouraged — 
He enters a community, but is discarded even 
there — Deliverance about to come 55 



CHAPTER V. 

Mr. F. leaves the community in despair— Resolves 
. to end his life by strong drink — He is surprised to 
find that he cannot taste spirits — His appetite 
changed into a strong aversion — This result in 
answer to prayer — Still opposed to religion and 
the church — Dissatisfied with Universalism — Flies 
to Swedenborgianism, Fourierism, and Socialism 
— His opinion of the Swedenborgian theory. 



CONTENTS. 



CHAPTER VI 



Fourierism in its connection with Swedenborgian- 
ism — Its anti-christian character — Mr. Fairfield's 
account of the community to which he belonged 
—His experience in it — The hatred of its leaders 
to Evangelical religion, and the grounds of it — 
Mr. Fairfield's views of the system. . 



CHAPTER VII . 

The feelings of Mr. F. during his declension — The 
stirring spirit returns, and he is led to the perform- 
ance of private religious duties — His views as to 
a particular providence, and prayer — His destitute 
condition outwardly — No employment, no means 
of support, and almost no religious privileges — 
Extracts from his private journal — His mind 
gradually enlightened — Remarkable Providences 
— His wants always supplied 96 



CHAPTER VIII. 

The feelings of Mr. F. remarkably revived — Asks 
advice of a minister, but is disappointed and dis- 
couraged — Repeated interviews with Rev. Dr. Tap- 
pan — Makes a humble confession to the church, 
and is restored — His motives for publishing this 
narrative, and feelings in view of it. . 



CONTENTS. 



CHAPTER IX. 



Mr. Fairfield's concluding remarks — Address to the 
young Christian, warning him against the neglect 
of private religious duties, against dangerous books 
and the ambition to be thought liberal — Address 
to young men, in behalf of temperance — Address 
to backsliders, calling them to immediate repent- 
ance 122 



CHAPTER X . 

Concluding period of Mr. Fairfield's life — His sym- 
pathy for the poor — A temperance lecturer — His 
connection with the Seminary at Bangor — His 
brief labors and success in the ministry at Bristol, 
(Me.) — His death — A dark providence. 



CHAPTER XI . 

Concluding remarks by the editor — Those by Mr. F. 
approved— The question of Mr. Fairfield's con- 
version considered — His case teaches us both the 
goodness and the severity of God — It also teaches 
the power of the gospel to recover, to elevate, 
and save — Mr. F. tried every thing else in vain — 
The value of his experiment, and of the testimony 
borne by it to the excellence of the gospel. . . . 142 



MEMOIR. 



CHAPTER I. 

Mr. Fairfield's Birth— His Native Place— His Parents— Mode of 
Living in the First Settlement of the Town — Care of Providence 
for the Early Settlers— Mr. Fairfield's Mother — Her Conversion, 
Character and Influence — His Home described, as it was in his 
Early Life — Desirable Progress since that period. 

The subject of this Memoir was born in 
the town of Tassalborough, Kennebec 
County, Maine, Maj 23d, 1812. He was 
the youngest of twelve children. His 
father was one of the first men in the town 
in point of intelligence and influence ; and 
though he treated religion, its ministers 
and ordinances with respect, he was not 
an experimentally religious man. But his 
mother was remarkable, not only for deep, 
fervent piety, but also for uncommon intel- 
lectual abilities, and especially for he 



12 MEMOIR OP THE 

knowledge of the holy Scriptures. She 
removed to Yassalborough, with her parents, 
from Weymouth, Mass., when only two 
years old. Her parents were among the 
earliest settlers of the place. 

It may be interesting to pause in our 
narrative, for a moment, and compare the 
circumstances of these new settlers, and 
their manner of life, with those prevailing 
in similar establishments at the present 
day. 

Now, when a new part of the country is 
to be broken up, mills are first erected, and 
a communication with the other settlements 
is secured. But in the early days of Yas- 
salborough it was not so. Then the roads 
were mere footpaths, indicated by spotted 
trees ; the saw-mills were an axe and 
shave ; while the grist-mills were no other 
than samp-mortars. 

But the most trying times in the settle- 
ment were, not when the people were 
obliged to pound their grain, but when 
there was no grain to be pounded. Not 



REV. HARRISON FAIRFIELD. 13 

unfrequently were they brought to such 
straits as these ; and had it not been for 
a most wonderful provision of Divine 
Providence, by which a supply of food was 
annually sent to them, they must inevi- 
tably have retreated to the other settle- 
ments. 

This supply was not rained down to 
them in the shape of manna from heaven ; 
but far away, in the deep, dark ocean, an 
innumerable multitude of fish, (commonly 
called herrings or alewives,) had long 
before been created, and divided into sepa- 
rate families or schools. Two of these 
schools, differing slightly in size and ap- 
pearance, would, every spring, seek out 
the mouth of the Kennebec river, in pref- 
erence to all the other rivers that empty 
into the Atlantic, and follow up its channel 
for sixty miles, passing many streams that 
discharge themselves into the river, until 
they arrived at the mouth of Seven Mile 
Brook, in Vassalborough. Here, one of 
the two parties would turn off into that 



14 MEMOIR OF THE 

stream, and follow it up to its source — a 
large pond in the town of Vassalborough ; 
while not one of the other party would 
stop with them, but would continue up the 
river, and into the Sebasticook, to supply 
the wants of the settlers there. 

After remaining in the pond for two 
or three weeks, where they deposited the 
germs of millions of their species, the 
herring of Yassalborough would return to 
the ocean ; whither they were followed 
by their young ones early in the autumn, 
with naught to guide them but that myste 
rious instinct which their Creator had given 
them. 

These herrings furnished the inhabitants 
with an abundance of food. Salted and 
smoked, they could be kept through the 
year, in which state they were often given 
to the cattle. They were also used, as 
the white fish now are, to enrich the 
ground. 

Into this new and hard settlement, as 
before remarked, the mother of Harrison 



REV. HARRISON FAIRFIELD. 15 

Fairfield came, with her parents, when 
she was only two years old. Here she 
grew up to womanhood, became a wife and 
mother, trained up a large family, and many 
years ago rested from her labors. Her 
religious privileges in early life were few 
and meagre. There was little or no 
preaching in the town, no religious meet- 
ings, and, of course, no Sabbath school. 
Then her parents, though sober, moral 
persons, gave no evidence of vital, experi- 
mental religion. She had no advantages 
of school education, though by the assist- 
ance of others she learned to read and 
write. Yet God had marked this lamb of 
the flock for himself, and when but a child 
in years, she was made the subject of the 
Holy Spirit's operations. Indeed, she was 
powerfully wrought upon. Her convic- 
tions of sin were deep, pungent, and 
thorough, and her deliverance from the 
power of sin, though long delayed, was 
clear, decisive and enduring. 

As she had no one to explain to her the 



16 MEMOIR OP THE 

way of life, it was natural that, in her dis- 
tress, she should strive to be saved by 
the work of her own hands. She labored 
hard to make herself better ; and that she 
might be as good as she believed her 
parents to be, she often gathered other 
children about her, read the Scriptures 
to them, and talked and prayed with 
them. 

But an oppressive sense of depravity and 
guilt remained, until, in her distress, she 
was led to surrender herself entirely into 
the hands of God. From this time, the 
promises of the Bible began to be opened 
to her, and her burden was removed. The 
Spirit took of the things of Christ and 
showed them to her, and she was enabled 
to rejoice in him with a joy unspeakable. 
Still, she was ignorant of the nature of the 
change which God had wrought in her, 
until after some years — indeed, after her 
marriage. She and her neighbors were 
visited by a faithful, godly minister of 
Christ. He was a plain, unlettered man, 



~. HAEBISON FAIBFIELD. 17 

but he had good sense, deep piety, and 
a thorough Christian experience. Under 
his preaching Mrs. Fairfield came to under- 
stand her true position, and to indulge the 
hope that she had been born again. Her 
parents also were converted, and an exten- 
sive revival of religion followed. A 
Baptist church was soon after constituted, 
which remains to this day. 

z :? the next half century, Mrs. Fairfield 
was an honor to the Saviour, by whose blood 
she had been redeemed. She diligently 
and faithfully instructed her children ; she 
prayed with and admonished them; and 
they all give evidence of having been born 
again. She was one of the few professing 
Christians whose entire consecration to the 
service of God, and whose cheerful though 
serious temper and deportment, carried into 
all the relations and duties of life, served 
:: silence the enemies of religion, and 
to carry unwelcome conviction to their 
hearts. 

Notwithstanding the disadvantage 5 :: 



18 MEMOIR OF THE 

her early days, her strong intellect and 
sterling good sense, raised her quite above, 
and gave her an influence over, those about 
her. 

" It is with profound veneration," says 
her grateful son, " that I call to remem- 
brance her many clear and able expositions 
of difficult portions of Scripture ; as also 
the solution of other difficult questions 
which I have heard from her lips." 

Mr. Fairfield was not one of those 
spoken of by Solomon, who insist that " the 
former days were better than these." On 
the contrary, he thought that there had 
been great and desirable progress, in 
education, in religion, and in the cir- 
cumstances of domestic and social life, 
within the period of his own recollec- 
tion. 

To illustrate this, he takes us back to 
his native town, and to his father's house, 
(which was one of the most considerable 
in the town,) as they were in Ins childhood, 
from thirty-five to forty years ago. It may 



REV. HARRISON FAIRFIELD. 19 

interest our young readers to learn, from 
an eye-witness, what were the appearances 
and occupations, in and around a respecta- 
ble farm-house, at that period : — 

"As we approach the house — a large 
one-story building, on which there never 
was any paint — the most conspicuous 
object in the yard is a long well-sweep 
and pole, with the ' moss-covered bucket ' 
pendant. We shall be received with hisses 
by a large flock of geese, kept chiefly for 
their feathers. But what will be most 
likely to arrest our attention among the 
domestic animals, is the lank, long-legged 
hog of those days. Contrary to Falstafif, 
the hog at that period did hold it a sin 
to be fat, though he thought a good appe- 
tite a virtue ; and as to his locomotive 
powers, few were the horses that could 
distance him in the race. 

" What would now be thought, if a hog, 
fatted and ready to kill, should knock over 
and half kill the butcher that was intending 



20 MEMOIR OF THE 

to kill him ? — as was sometimes the case in 
the times of which we speak. 

" In the yard of this house we shall see 
the only wagon in the town, and that but 
just introduced ; and what a clumsy vehicle 
it is ! In one barn we shall see a man 
breaking flax, and another swingling. 
From another barn comes the sound of the 
flail ; for threshing machines are not yet 
invented, and winnowing machines are but 
just coming into use. 

"As we enter the house, we shall see the 
mother and daughters busily engaged in 
manufacturing wool and flax into cloth. 
One is carding tow ; another is combing 
flax ; a third, is spinning it on a foot- 
wheel ; while the mother is weaving, and 
the smaller children are quilling for her. 
All are busy with their tasks, exhibiting 
unmistakable marks of comfort and of 
thrift. 

" In one corner of the room stands the 
old clock, six times as large as the clocks of 
these days, and costing twelve times as 



REV. HARRISON FAIRFIELD. 21 

mucli. We shall see little about the house 
indicative of refinement ; and if we enter 
into conversation with the inmates, we 
shall find that they, though not lacking in 
native shrewdness and intelligence, are 
comparatively unlearned. 

" Several causes have contributed to 
make them so. In the first place, in the 
multitude of domestic employments at that 
day, young females had little time to devote 
to literary pursuits. Then, the schools were 
of a very inferior character, and books, 
beyond the Bible, the primer, and the 
almanac, were almost unknown. But 
above all, the preaching, (what there was 
of it,) was not instructive. Learning, as a 
qualification for the ministry, was of no 
account ; and a minister, who had been to 
college and wrote his sermons, would not 
have been tolerated. Added to all this, the 
people were comparatively isolated. In 
the multitude of their avocations, they saw 
little of each other ; and as to going 
abroad for information or enjoyment, there 
was almost none of it. 



22 MEMOIR OF THE 

" The man whom we are visiting, (that 
is, my father,) has been in Boston, and is, 
on that account, considered rather an 
extraordinary character. A journey to 
Boston then took as many weeks as it now 
does days ; and cost as many dollars as 
it now does dimes. As a consequence 
of these things, the people generally were 
very credulous. They were ready to 
believe whatever any unprincipled straggler 
was pleased to tell them, and in this way 
were often imposed upon. 

" We may look at the condition of this 
people for a moment, with regard to the 
compensation they received for labor. 
Within the compass of my recollection, the 
compensation of females has increased, 
I think, tenfold. It certainly has increased 
as much as this, if we regard not only the 
money paid for labor, but the amount of 
goods which could be purchased with that 
money. Forty years ago, the price of 
female labor per week was one yard of un- 
dressed woolen cloth ; which cloth could be 



REV. HARRISON FAIRFIELD. 28 

sold for about sixty-seven cents. At the 
same time, calico was selling at from fifty 
to seventy-five cents a yard ; so that a yard 
of decent calico was likely to cost the 
female a full week's work. Forty years 
ago, calico was too expensive to be worn 
every day ; and one new dress a year was 
deemed extravagant, even among the better 



" I state these facts for the purpose of 
showing what a change has been brought 
about in this country, within the compass 
of a single generation. Almost every 
thing, not in its nature immutable, has 
been undergoing a change — a change, too, 
we hope, for the better. How greatly 
increased and extended are the facilities for 
acquiring education ! How are papers, and 
books, and other means of imparting and 
diffusing knowledge multiplied ! How has 
Christian philanthropy been vitalized and 
rendered efficient, by united and extended 
effort ! In a word, what vast improve- 
ments have been going on, and are still 



24 MEMOIR OF THE 

going on, in every department of human 
life ! And yet there are some who are 
ever ready to complain of this progress, to 
mourn over it, and to insist that the former 
times were better than these. As well 
might they complain of the rivulet for 
becoming a river, or of the child for grow- 
ing up to man's proportions, as murmur at 
the progress of that which has evidently 
received its onward impulse from an Al- 
mighty Hand." 



REV. HARRISON FAIRFIELD. 25 



CHAPTER II. 



Mr. Fairfield early impressed with a sense of his great Sinfulness— 
The Death of his Father— Its Effect upon his Mind— His Peculiar- 
ities of Temperament — Bad Companions — Their Ruinous Influ- 
ence — He is Awakened, Reformed, and Hopefully Converted — 
Becomes a Member of the Church, and walks worthily, for a 



In such a community as that described 
above, did Harrison Fairfield pass his 
childhood and his youthful days. He was 
the youngest and favorite child of his ex- 
cellent mother, whose delight it was to 
instill into his opening mind a knowledge of 
the holy Scriptures. She often prayed 
with him; but 0, how much more fre- 
quently did she pray for him ! It was doubt- 
less owing to her prayers, that in very early 
life he became the subject of deep religious 
impressions. His earliest recollections are 
of the solemn sense which he then had of 
the evil nature and dreadful consequences 



26 MEMOIR OP THE 

of sin. At one period, particularly, these 
convictions were so pungent, that he was 
led to feel that his existence was a curse to 
him, and that he would gladly escape from 
it, if possible. 

When about seven years old, the family 
was visited with a most distressing prov- 
idence, which made an impression upon his 
peculiarly constituted mind, that was never 
effaced. He was aroused from sleep at 
midnight, — the sweet sleep of childhood, — 
and told that his father was dying. One 
week before, this same father was in robust 
health. The house was full of brothers, 
sisters, and anxious friends, all weeping 
and giving vent to their feelings — all but 
one. She was solemn, but calm. His 
mother seemed like one standing upon 
a rock, as indeed she did ; while the others 
were tossed in the raging waves around 
them. 

This death-scene, with the funeral and 
interment of his father, gave little Harrison 
such a terrible realization of the stern and 



REV. HARRISON FAIRFIELD. 27 

awful realities of life, as to bring over him, 
even at that early period, those deep shades 
of melancholy, which afterwards rendered 
him, at times, so miserable. 

I have said that the temperament of Har- 
rison was peculiar. In very childhood 
he was inclined to shun the company of 
children, and if he could not be with his 
mother, he preferred to be alone. Though 
his feelings and affections were of the most 
ardent kind, there was something about 
him which led others to suspect that he 
was cold and unfeeling. Also then, as in 
after life, he was subject to fearful forbod- 
ings of something undefinable and dread- 
ful that was likely to come upon him ; and 
these began to tinge his life with a sombre 
aspect. Questions that have perplexed the 
wise and the learned in all ages, were often 
suggested to him at this period, and occu- 
pied his thoughts. 

One of these was the notable question in 
regard to the permission of sin ; and with- 
out ever having heard of the ancient Gnos- 



28 MEMOIR OP THE 

tics, some of their vain speculations were 
entertained by him. 

His great diffidence and bashfulness in 
early life, increased his aversion to society, 
and rendered him awkward in it; and 
being often ridiculed by those about him, 
his trials found little alleviation, except in 
the society of his mother. She alone 
understood him, and was able to comfort 
him. Her influence over him was un- 
bounded, and it was all exerted for his 
good. The religious ideas which she then 
impressed upon him, were never effaced. 
They were so inwrought into the very tex- 
ture of the soul, that nothing could remove 
them. 

When Harrison was about twelve years 
old, he was for a long time the subject 
of deep religious impressions ; but these 
passed off, without resulting in a saving 
change. When he was fourteen years old, 
a change took place in his outward circum- 
stances, which brought him under in- 
fluences exceedingly different from those to 



REV. HARRISON FAIRFIELD. 29 

which he had before been subject. From 
the moral and religious community in 
which he had been bred, the family- 
removed into a place where much ardent 
spirit was sold and drunk ; where many of 
the people were profane and licentious ; 
and where fatal errors prevailed in regard 
to religious doctrine. And to complete 
the array of evil influences, Harrison was 
put into a factory as an apprentice, among 
some of the worst men and boys that could 
be collected outside of a prison. Drunk- 
enness, Sabbath-breaking, blasphemy, and 
even thievish practices, were their de- 
light. 

I will not undertake to describe the mis- 
ery of young Fairfield, during the first few 
months that he spent in this company. 
It is indescribable. I have said that he 
was constitutionally bashful. It was at 
this point, after trying others in vain, that 
the enemy successfully assaulted him. 
Being accustomed to see others, even good 
men, drink, (for all drank more or less in 



30 MEMOIR OF THE 

those times,) he was induced, on one occa- 
sion, to partake of the poisonous liquid 
that was constantly urged upon him. The 
effect of the draught upon him was marvel- 
ous. It removed his native bashfulness, 
made him fluent and talkative, and gave 
new courage to his timid, shrinking heart. 
Thus excited and emboldened, he was 
easily induced to drink again and again, 
and in the course of two years he became a 
drunkard. He was more than a drunkard ; 
he was a bold blasphemer, and stood fore- 
most in the company of the infamous, 
hardened creatures with whom he was asso- 
ciated. 

This was a dreadful trial to his poor 
mother ; but, like Hannah of old, to her 
" there was no rock like her God." She 
pleaded, she prayed ; and through her in- 
fluence, chiefly, the eyes of the people 
were opened. They saw the evil of drink- 
ing, and of trafficking in intoxicating 
spirits ; the temperance reformation reached 
the place ; the town was purged of this 



REV. HARRISON FAIRFIELD. 31 

mother of abominations, and young Fair- 
field was reclaimed. In other words, his 
appetite was subdued, though not erad- 
icated, as the sequel will show. 

The habit of profane swearing was at 
this time more indomitable with him, than 
that of strong drink. He often tried to 
overcome it, but did not succeed, until 
he was again visited with the strivings 
of the Holy Spirit. His former impres- 
sions were revived, and for the next two 
years he used no profane language at 
all. He often prayed in secret at this 
time, though he had a strong aversion to 
attending public worship — so strong, that 
nothing but a mother's influence could 
prevail to overcome it. 

One lovely Sabbath morning, in the 
month of May, while looking out upon the 
glories of creation, he felt a new and 
strong impulse moving him to go to meet- 
ing. He went, and while standing with 
others about the door, he heard some one 
speak of a certain part of a late sermon as 



32 MEMOIR OF THE 

peculiarly interesting. The remark struck 
him with unaccountable force. 

"What!" said he to himself, "is it 
possible that there is any interesting part to 
a sermon ? " 

The thought dwelt upon his mind, and 
he resolved to watch closely, upon that 
occasion, and see if there was any thing 
interesting in what to him had always 
been so dull. The preacher for the day 
was the late Rev. Dr. Gillet, of Hallowell ? 
Me., and the sermon, to young Fairfield, 
was one of a stirring character. 

From that time he attended constantly 
at the house of God, and his mind was en- 
lighted and impressed. Shortly after, a 
revival of religion commenced, in con- 
nection with a protracted meeting, in which 
he was made to fear and tremble, under a 
sense of sin. His guilt appeared to him so 
great and aggravated, that it seemed as 
though God, the holy sovereign of the 
universe, could not consistently pass it over. 
He regarded himself as inevitably and 



REV. HARRISON FAIRFIELD. 33 

justly ruined. He continued in this state 
of guilt and despair for several days, until, 
on one Sabbath evening, deliverance came. 
This declaration of Scripture was brought 
to his mind — " That He might be just, 
and the justifier of him who belie veth 
in Jesus." He was led to see something of 
the fullness and sufficiency of the sacrifice 
of Christ, and to trust to it for the pardon 
of his sins. His burden was, in great 
measure, removed. He was led to hope 
that his sins, though terribly aggravated, 
might be forgiven. In September, 1831, 
he united with the Congregational church 
in Yassalborough, with which he walked 
consistently for several years. 

But there were some things, in and 
about him at this time, which made his 
condition an unhappy one. He had no reg- 
ular occupation, and had no one to direct or 
assist him in procuring one. Then his 
strong, undisciplined imagination was a 
trouble to him. No sooner did he think of 
any particular occupation, than his imagi- 



34 MEMOIR OF THE 

nation would seize upon it, and conduct him 
rapidly through all its parts, keeping out 
of riew its difficulties, and firing him with 
the prospect of success ; so that when he 
entered upon it, and began to grapple with 
its hard realities, he would soon be dis- 
appointed and discouraged. 

But I must pass over this part of his ex- 
perience, so suggestive of admonition to the 
young, and come to what I had more par- 
ticularly in view in this memoir — a nar- 
rative of the wonderful dealings of God 
with this young man, during the latter 
half of his life. 

For five years he endeavored to maintain 
a spiritual mind, and a consistent walk 
with God. The Bible, self-examination, 
and secret prayer, were his delight, and 
every duty which he thought himself able 
to perform, he discharged. His bashfulness 
was so excessive, that it was next to im- 
possible for him to take any part in public 
meetings ; and his being often called 
upon and urged to do so, was a severe 
trial. 



REV. HARRISON FAIRFIELD. 35 

I can but think that ministers and others 
often mistake, in urging the timid and the 
bashful to speak and pray in public. 
Though all should be induced to cultivate 
their talents and gifts, we should never 
forget that there are diversities of temper- 
aments, and that a profession of Christ 
before men, supported by a holy, consistent 
life, is the most effective testimony we can 
give, as to the reality and power of our 
religion. 

The subject of this narrative was some- 
times kept from religious meetings, under 
the impression that if he attended, he 
should be urged — compelled, as it were— to 
do what he felt that he could not do, and 
what, of course, he was unwilling to 
attempt. And when he did attend, he was 
continually tortured with the apprehension 
that he should be called upon to speak, and 
thus he failed to receive the benefit which 
he might otherwise have realized from so 
important a means of grace. 

Such was Harrison Fairfield, between 



36 MEMOIR OF THE 

the years of 1831 and 1836, earnestly 
desiring and striving to lead a Christian 
life, and be devoted to the cause of Christ, 
but yet compassed about with difficulties 
and infirmities, and falling continually 
short of the high standard at which he 
aimed. 

But we must now enter upon a very 
different account of him, which will be the 
subject of the following chapter. 



BEV. HARRISON FAIRFIELD, S7 



CHAPTER III. 

Comparative Ignorance of Mr. F. when he became a Member of the 
Church— Remarkable Answer to Prayer — Commencement of his 
Declension — Neglect of Secret Prayer and other Religious Duties 
— Excuses for the Same — Fancies himself growing Liberal and 
Wise — Effect of reading Works of Fiction— Falls into the Company 
of Universalists, and tries hard to be One — Exposes their 
Sophistries, and the Seductive Nature of their System. 

When the subject of this sketch united 
with the church, in 1831, he assented to 
the articles of faith, and thought he 
believed them ; but he was in great measure 
ignorant of the full significance and extent 
of some of them. The doctrine of Election 
often troubled him. He did not see then, 
as he did in later life, that the sinner could 
have no hope of salvation without it. He 
was ignorant of the nature and strength of 
human depravity. The doctrine of Perse- 
verance, the covenant faithfulness of God, 
his promises to hear and answer the prayers 
of his children — these things were not to 
i 



38 MEMOIR OF THE 

him then the vivid realities which his sub- 
sequent experience contributed to make 
them. 

And yet a remarkable instance of answer 
to prayer occurred at the very meeting 
when Mr. Fairfield hoped that he was con- 
verted. An aged and pious couple from a 
neighboring town, who attended the meet- 
ing, had a son who had wandered far away 
from his home and God. He was in the 
city of St. Louis, an infidel, and a propaga- 
tor of infidel principles. His case was 
brought before the meeting, and much 
prayer was offered for him. And almost at 
the same time, (as was afterwards learned) > 
in the midst of his wicked companions, he 
was smitten down by the Spirit, was brought 
into great distress, and ere long found joy 
and peace in believing. 

It is often said that the age of miracles 
is past. They were necessary to establish 
the claims of revelation, at the time when 
that was made ; but the canon of Scripture 
being closed, we are no longer to look 



REV. HARRISON FAIRFIELD. 39 

for them. This is undoubtedly true. And 
yet, is God no longer known by the judg- 
ments which he executeth ? Has he ceased 
to illustrate the truths of his Word by the 
dispensations of his providence and grace ? 
I think not. The promises of answer to 
prayer are so positive, so often repeated, 
and so variously illustrated, as to afford a 
perpetual test of the truth of Divine reve- 
lation. 

When a striking case, like that alluded 
to above, occurs, those who witness it, feel, 
for a time, their faith strengthened; and 
yet it is so difficult to maintain an advance 
position, that they soon fall back to the 
level of the general standard of faith. 
But when one has had the truth scourged 
into him, by the hand of a faithful, covenant- 
keeping God, it is very likely to remain. 
So when one has been brought into a condi" 
tion to feel the strength of his own deprav- 
ity, and his utter helplessness and inability 
to overcome it, it cannot be expected that 
theories which contradict his own expe- 



40 MEMOIR OF THE 

rience will have much influence with 
him. 

In the year 1836 Mr. F. was placed in a 
situation where he had no closet to which 
he could conveniently retire, to engage in 
secret prayer. Consequently he was led 
very often to omit it. Little did he think 
at that time, that the excuses with which 
he attempted to quiet his conscience, were 
from the Wicked One ; or that in accepting 
any excuse for the neglect of so plain a 
duty, he was taking the first step in a 
course that was to land him in disgrace 
and ruin. Let the young Christian beware 
of the first neglect of closet duties ; and 
when he finds himself growing contented 
and easy in such neglect, let him begin to 
tremble. 

When the performance of secret prayer 
had come to depend upon circumstances, 
and when our young friend had begun 
to look for, and gladly accept of, excuses 
for its neglect, then the reading of the 
Scriptures was put upon the same ground. 



REV. HARRISON FAIRFIELD. 41 

His love for the Bible sensibly diminished, 
and a desire to read other books, and such 
as he had before considered unprofitable, 
and even pernicious, proportionably in- 
creased. 

At this point in his downward career, 
lie stumbled upon what he considered a 
very fortunate discovery. It seemed to 
him that he had been too bigoted, too illib- 
eral, too narrow and contracted in his 
views. He began to look down upon his 
brethren who remained steadfast with G-od, 
with a feeling of contempt. It is wonderful 
how the views of some persons are elevated 
and enlarged, in the process of backsliding 
or apostacy. 

At this time, young Fairfield began to 
feel his old appetite for strong drink reviv- 
ing within him. For years he had abstained 
entirely from any indulgence of this kind, 
and that chiefly for the good of others, and 
that his example might go to strengthen 
the cause of reform. But now he discov- 
ered, that there were a great many people 



42 MEMOIR OF THE 

in this world, of different occupations and 
inclinations, and that they all had equal 
rights. 

What rights or claims has one heart- 
broken woman, or starving child, more than 
others ? The rumseller has a wife and 
children to be provided for, as well as the 
drunkard. And why should I forego the 
privilege of drinking a glass of wine occa- 
sionally with a friend, because another 
man gets drunk and abuses his family? 
I suppose the old scribes and Pharisees 
reasoned much after this sort, when 
they sought to destroy our Saviour, 
because he had raised Lazarus from the 
dead. 

" What right had he to come, at the call 
of Martha and Mary, and raise their brother 
from the dead, when by so doing he put at 
hazard the safety, and it may be, the 
very existence of the whole Jewish na- 
tion ? " 

Yet these same scribes and Pharisees 
could come down from their elevated 



REV. HARRISON FAIRFIELD. 43 

position, and their broad, patriotic views, 
when they laid their lecherous hands upon 
a poor, trembling woman, and dragged 
her into the presence of the same Sav- 
iour, to gratify their envy and their 
hate. 

It is not uncommon for those who 
frequent bar-rooms, and there enter upon 
the road to ruin, to commence their course 
with tho aghts and feelings like those 
described by Mr. Fairfield. They begin by 
expatiating upon the evils of bigotry and 
hypocrisy, and on the importance of rising 
above the prejudices of education and 
custom, and taking more comprehensive 
views of things. 

This is a masterly trick of the old adver- 
sary, by which he really makes men believe 
that they are growing wise, when they are 
becoming fools — that they are advancing 
upwards to heaven, when they are actually 
sinking into perdition. So the fallen 
Christian often thinks himself raised to a 
happy elevation, from which he looks down 



44 MEMOIR OF THE 

with pity, if not contempt, upon his humble, 
watchful, faithful brethren, who are mourn- 
ing over their sins, and striving to overcome 
them. And when he falls into sins of such 
magnitude that they can no longer be 
blinked out of sight, he comforts himself 
by saying that man is, to a great extent, 
the creature of circumstances ; or his pecu- 
liar temperament and organization are 
lugged in to make the apology complete. 
0, these attending circumstances — this 
bodily temperament — this peculiar cerebral 
organization — this monomaniacal proclivity 
— this slight tendency towards insanity ; — 
what wonders may they not accomplish 
towards soothing a terrified and stinging 
conscience ! Justification by faith is as 
nothing in the comparison. 

From his boyhood, Mr. Fairfield had been 
a great reader ; but up to the time of 
which we are speaking, he had allowed 
himself to read nothing of a trifling or fic- 
titious character. The Scriptures and other 
religious books had been his principal study. 



REV. HARRISON FAIRFIELD. 45 

But when he begun to neglect his religious 
duties, and grew more liberal, as he 
thought, he gradually changed his course 
of reading. Well written works of fiction 
he now considered as not only allowable, 
but desirable, to make one wise, more 
especially in the knowledge of human 
nature. 

But, alas ! the reading of such books 
became one of the most potent influences 
in undermining his religious principles, 
and bringing upon him those unutterable 
miseries which we are about to contem- 
plate. In six months after he commenced 
his course of novel reading, his closet was 
entirely forsaken, the Bible was laid aside, 
the prayer-meetings were deserted, and 
although he attended public worship on the 
Sabbath, so far as his own spirit was con- 
cerned, he might as well have been absent. 
The study of romances, and plays, and 
poetical works of an evil character, en- 
grossed him entirely. His voluptuous im- 
agination would revel with the characters 



46 MEMOIR OP THE 

there introduced, while his inventive genius 
would color and intensify their exciting 
adventures. 

I cannot but think that works of this 
character are highly pernicious to the 
young. Of course, they do not affect all 
persons as they did the subject of this 
sketch ; but they contain the spirit and the 
substance of a poisonous infidelity — mixed 
up, it is true, and often concealed, as literal 
poisons sometimes are in sugar — but not, 
on this account, the less deadly in their in- 
fluence. 

No sooner had young Fairfield cast off 
the restraints of a religious life, than he 
began to try to persuade himself that such 
a life was not necessary to salvation. Nor 
was this a very difficult matter ; for at this 
time, he was much in the company of an 
intelligent Universalist who supplied him 
with arguments, and with books. And it 
is remarable, that just in proportion to the 
weakening of his religious principles, and 
his progress in a life of sin , was his progress 



REV. HARRISON FAIRFIELD. 47 

in this delusive error. Practices which he 
once regarded as exceedingly sinful and 
hateful in the sight of God, he now held to 
be perfectly innocent ; and acts too gross to 
be considered innocent, were attributed to 
circumstances, or bodily temperament — 
any thing rather than to a depraved and 
corrupted heart. 

As this is the bait which Satan often 
throws out, to lure immortal beings away 
from God, I must be permitted to dwell 
upon it for a moment. There was one 
truth in Mr. Fairfield's mind, which could 
not be easily dislodged ; and that was, 
salvation by the blood of Christ. Though 
he tried hard to dispense with faith in 
Christ, his own experience of the efficacy 
of this doctrine, to deliver the soul from 
guilt, was too vivid in his remembrance to 
allow him to reason it away. Unable 
to wrest this doctrine from him, the 
tempter set himself to pervert it. It was 
suggested to Mr. Fairfield's mind, that as 
God in his mercy had caused an atonement 



48 MEMOIR OP THE 

to be made for sin, he would ultimately 
destroy all sin, and drive it from the 
universe. If man can conceive of the 
desirableness of a universal, over a partial 
salvation, how much more desirable must it 
seem to God ? And will not he, whose 
power and goodness are illimitable, be sure 
to make all men holy and happy ? 

This reason may be regarded as plausible, 
but it is seductive and fatal. So the 
subject of this sketch found it, and God 
be praised that he so found it in this world 
of hope, and not in the regions of 
despair. 

The sum and substance of Universalism 
is this : since God possesses the power, he 
is bound to exercise it, in making all men 
happy, whether they will or not. These 
men rob God of his justice, and in fact 
of his holiness, while they so pervert and 
humanize his benevolence, as to destroy 
entirely the symmetry of his character, 
especially when we consider him as the 
righteous moral Governor of the universe. 



REV. HARRISON FAIRFIELD. 49 

They know not the natures of either sin or 
holiness, and nothing but the Spirit of God, 
whose assistance they do not ask for or 
desire, can enable them to perceive either, 
as they must, before they are prepared 
to meet God in peace. They have never 
felt, in their own souls, the exceeding sin- 
fulness of sin — felt it as a heavy burthen 
under which they can never rise, until God 
interpose, by his grace, to break its power. 
Perfect holiness can no more harmonize 
with sin, than fire and gunpowder can meet 
and harmonize. There is an eternal antag- 
onism between them — an omnipotent and 
mutual repulsion. 

Such are the views of sin which the 
subject of this sketch had at the time of 
his conversion ; and they would never 
permit him to rest quietly in the Univer- 
salist doctrines. He was continually shift- 
ing from one form of the error to another 
— discarding one false opinion, and taking 
up another — but settled upon nothing, and 
resting quietly nowhere. 



50 MEMOIR OP THE 

If sinners have more power than God, 
then may they hope to escape the con- 
sequences of sin in some other way than 
that which he has provided. No — not even 
then; for misery will follow sin, as the 
shadow does the substance, or the night the 
day. Like the essence and attributes of 
God, they are inseparable. God may over- 
rule the wicked actions of men, and make 
them contribute to his praise ; but the con- 
scious guilt of them, and their power 
to torment the perpetrator, can never 
be removed but by the forgiving grace of 
God ; and this can be exercised only on 
condition of repentance, and through 
the atonement of the Lord Jesus Christ. 

Those with whom Mr. F. associated at 
this time, denied the proper Divinity of 
Christ, and the doctrine of atonement by 
his death. They would have sin forgiven, 
and the evil consequences of it removed, 
whenever the sinner was pleased to repent, 
and on the ground of such repentance, 
whether in this world or the next ; forget- 






REV. HARRISON FAIRFIELD. 51 

ful of the claims of God's law and govern- 
ment, and that " Justice and- judgment 
are the habitation of his throne." He 
must take good care of the sinner, at 
any rate, and make him happy, whatever 
may be the consequences to himself, and 
to the better part of his intelligent cre- 
ation. 

Some regarded death as a sort of 
alchemy, that purifies the soul at once, and 
fits it for heaven ; — as though one of the 
natural consequences of sin could change 
the nature of sin itself, and remove all 
the other bitter consequences resulting 
from it. 

Some thought that it would be easy 
to repent in the other world, when the 
spirit is separated from the flesh, because 
there would be fewer temptations there. 
However this may be, conscience will be 
there; and that will be enough unless 
pacified through the blood of Christ, to 
torture the guilty soul forever. I have 
never heard God blamed for creating man 



52 MEMOIR OP THE 

with a conscience. Without it he would 
be a brute, and society would be but a 
herd of brutes. And so long as a guilty 
conscience remains, there can be no peace 
anywhere to the wicked. 

The day is coming, if the Bible is true, 
when even our most secret sins shall be set 
in the light of God's countenance. In the 
eternal world, when the sinner shall be 
stripped of all those disguises, with which 
he now deceives himself and others — when 
he shall be constrained to look upon all his 
misdeeds, hung up, as it were, in the light 
of God's countenance — when he shall see 
them set in such a frame, and painted upon 
such a background, like spots of blackness 
upon the disk of the blazing sun, — 0, then, 
what will be the workings and the power of 
conscience ! It will no longer whisper, 
but clamor; no longer plead and admon- 
ish, but torture and condemn. Then will 
the sinner not only see sin as it is, but 
he will see more strongly, by contrast, the 
holiness, the justice, the goodness of God ; 



REV. HARRISON FAIRFIELD. 53 

and this view of God, instead of producing 
repentance and love, will only excite him 
to a more violent opposition — to impotent 
rage. Yes, impotent rage — that is the 
word; and what source of anguish can 
compare with that ? 

In an insane hospital, I once saw a victim 
of impotent rage. He was called insane, 
and so he was ; though he was more of 
a demoniac than a madman. He was per- 
fectly naked, because he would rend the 
clothes, and had it been possible, would 
have rent the skin and flesh from his limbs 
and body. He was in a small room, with 
walls and floor of stone and brick. I 
looked through a narrow grating, and saw 
him, though he did not see me. He foamed 
at the mouth ; he would clench and pluck 
the hair from his head; virile his dismal 
bowlings were enough to rend the heart. 
His face was disfigured by blows from his 
own fist. 

I saw him, with all his might, strike his 
own face ; and his keeper told me that 



54 MEMOIR OF THE 

not ^infrequently he knocked himself down. 
He poured forth a continual torrent of the 
most horrid oaths and imprecations, while 
the veins of his neck and face were swollen 
with a frenzy of impotent rage. He strove 
impotently to vent his fury upon God and 
man. I thought him then, and have often 
thought of him as, a fit emblem of the 
ravings and miseries of the bottomless 
pit. 

While man has a limitless capacity for 
enjoyment, he has also a like capacity for 
misery; and is God to be blamed for 
making him such ? God does not inflict 
miseries except where there is actual sin ; 
and even where there is sin, he has kindly 
provided a way of escape, and is urging the 
transgressor to flee from the wrath to come. 
Yea, more tlfan this ; he is mercifully 
extending the hand of his grace, and 
proffering all needed help. Who, then, 
is to blame, if the sinner is not saved ? 
Upon whom shall the lost rebel charge 
his miseries, but upon himself? 



REV. HARRISON FAIRFIELD. 55 



CHAPTER IV. 



Contrast in the Condition of Mr. F. — Death of his Mother — His 
Pride of Character and Hardness of Heart — Falls into the Habit 
of Drinking, and Becomes a Drunkard— The Peculiar Effect 
of Strong Drink upon him — His unutterable Miseries — Is received 
twice into an Insane Hospital — Attempts to commit Suicide, but 
is Mercifully Prevented — Friends Disappointed and Discouraged — 
He enters a Community, but is Discarded even there — Deliverance 
about to Come. 



We will now return to the narrative before 
us. And first of all, let ns contrast the 
moral condition of this young man, at the 
time of which we speak, with what it was 
eight years before. 

During the first five years that he was a 
member of the church — owing in great 
measure to the care and counsels of his 
mother — it may be said of him, with as 
little abatement as in almost any similar 
case, that he walked closely and con- 
sistently with God. He scrupulously per- 
formed all private religious duties, and 



56 MEMOIR OF THE 

carefully abstained from every thing which 
he supposed was wrong. Indeed, he ab- 
stained from many things which are gener- 
ally allowed, under a timed apprehension 
that they might be wrong. His self-exam- 
ination was rigorous, and often performed. 
His heart was soft, his conscience tender, 
and a spirit of pungent penitence was ever 
active within. 

But, alas ! what was he in 1839 ? A 
vile backslider, if not an apostate ; with- 
held, by principle, from the commission 
of hardly any species of wickedness ; not 
only disregarding, but often ridiculing, the 
just claims of God upon his sinful off- 
spring. Efts heart was hard as the nether 
millstone ; his pride was devilish, consider- 
ing himself raised above the generality of 
those with whom he associated ; he looked 
down with contempt upon his Christian 
brethren, and often made them the subject 
of ridicule. He had no sympathy for the 
poor and the suffering. In short, the char- 
acter of the unjust judge was applicable to 



REV. HARRISON FAIRFIELD. 57 

him — " He feared not God, nor regarded 
man." 

The death of his excellent mother, which 
occurred about this time, instead of soften- 
ing him, as might be supposed, served 
rather to harden him, and fill his mouth 
with murmurs and complaints. He was 
ready to reproach the Almighty, for bring- 
ing him into such a relation, without 
making it eternal. 

Up to this time, his moral character was 
outwardly fair, and of this he was exces- 
sively proud. His brethren had not called 
him to an account for his delinquencies, 
and he still continued a member of the 
church. At heart, however, he was more 
of a Universalist than a Congregationalist, 
and in practice more of an atheist than a 
Christian. 

But " before destruction, the heart of 
man is haughty." It was at this stage, 
in the beginning of the year 1840, that the 
hand of a holy, covenant-keeping God was 
laid upon him. Blessed be the Lord, who 



58 MEMOIR OP THE 

heareth and remembereth the prayers of 
his people ; young Fairfield was not per- 
mitted longer to prosper in his course of 
hard-hearted rebellion. He seems to have 
been given over into the hands of Satan, 
with about the same limitation as in the 
case of Job — the tempter must spare his 
life. 

The apostle Paul speaks of a similar 
case, where one was given over, for a time, 
" into the hands of Satan, that he might 
learn not to blaspheme." No doubt Satan 
had much to do with the fall and conse- 
quent miseries of Mr. Fairfield. But it 
was true of him, as it has been of many 
others — his own iniquities were made the 
means of reproving him. 

It has been said already that his appetite 
for strong drink, formed in early life, had 
never been wholly eradicated. But during 
his religious life, it was never indulged ; 
and after his declension had commenced, 
and had made alarming progress, it was 
indulged but occasionally. It did not com- 



REV. HARRISON FAIRFIELD. 59 

port with his broad and liberal view of 
things, to abstain entirely ; and yet he 
drank bnt little — often not more than a 
glass in a month. 

But in December, 1839, he removed 
to another part of the country, where he 
was a total stranger ; and here, like a 
house before a tornado, he was prostrated 
at once. In January, 1840, he was a mod- 
erate drinker, with fair external charac- 
ter, and bright prospects. In July of the 
same year, he was a confirmed drunkard, 
beyond the reach of human power to re- 
claim, and incapable of any business what- 
ever. 

Strong drink had a singular effect upon 
him. It raged through his blood like 
liquid fire, and caused a sensation in the 
brain, as though hot embers were being 
poured upon it. The horrors of delirium 
tremens were his, without the literal insan- 
ity. Then the horrors of a guilty con- 
science, clear and awful conceptions of 
Divine truth, hatred of God, impotent rage ? 



60 MEMOIR OF THE 

and the powers and passions of a depraved 
soul, once reclaimed from the power of sin, 
but now wholly enslaved by it, — all these, 
like so many furies let loose to rend and 
appal his affrighted soul, combined to make 
him the most wretched being on the earth. 
For days and nights in succession he would 
walk, and walk, without a moment's rest or 
sleep, without taking a particle of food, or 
any thing but cold water, sweating and 
groaning till he could walk no longer ; and 
then he would sink down, sometimes 
among strangers, but more frequently on 
the naked earth, with no covering but 
the heavens, and no companions but 
fiends. 

" I remember one night in particular, 
when, on the leeward side of a comfortable 
house, I attempted, at midnight, to shield 
my shivering body from the cold ; listening 
to the wind, as it echoed my groans 
around the corner of the house, or to the 
town clock, as it announced the departure 






REV. HARRISON FAIRFIELD. 61 

of the sluggish hours, until the wished-for 
morning was seen coming over the eastern 
hills, blushing, as I could easily imagine, to 
look upon a wretch like me. I remember 
spending another night, in the way I have 
described, around a splendid house, owned 
and occupied by a young man who was 
reared in the same neighborhood with 
myself. We were once intimate friends, 
and my prospects for a happy life were 
as fair as his. But he resolved, early in 
life, to abstain entirely from the intox- 
icating cup, while I argued stoutly against 
such narrow, needless scrupulousness, and 
on the propriety of taking, occasionally, a 
glass of wine." 

The above is no overwrought picture, 
but a true account of some of the terrible 
scourgings which Mr. F. endured, while he 
bore the indignation of the Lord, because 
he had sinned against him. 

All self-control was now gone. Many 
times he went, designedly, to reside in 



62 MEMOIR OF THE 

places where no liquor was to be had ; but 
something would always occur to drive him 
back again. Formerly, he had been ex- 
ceedingly proud of his good character. 
At the time when he was more of an 
infidel than a Christian, his moral char- 
acter stood fair, and the possibility of a 
suspicion resting upon it, was enough to 
fill him with rage. Upon drunkenness, he 
looked, at that period, with special abhor- 
rence. For the intemperate, he had no 
other feelings than those of detestation and 
contempt. 

Judge, then, of his shame and misery, 
when he woke up to his situation, and 
found himself a drunkard — in the fangs of 
the destroyer, with no power to help or 
save himself! His friends did not, at once, 
forsake him, as he would have forsaken 
a fallen fellow-creature in similar circum- 
stances ; but their efforts for him were of 
no avail. He tried to keep out of sight of 
his former acquaintances, but during the 
six years that he was in this state, he 



REV. HARRISON FAIRFIELD. 63 

was somehow led into every place, and con- 
strained to exhibit his degradation, to 
almost every person from whom he would 
specially have desired to conceal it. Never 
did fallen pride and vanity so writhe in in- 
conceivable tortures. 

When he found that he could neither 
prevent nor conceal his disgrace, and that 
all ordinary means were impotent to save, 
— being appalled, too, with the fearful 
apprehension of something still more dread- 
ful that was soon to befall him, — he ap- 
plied to the officers of an insane hospital, 
and entreated them to lock him up, that 
so he might be sheltered, and protected 
from himself. He preferred the howlings 
of maniacs, to the imaginary exultant 
shouts of demons, that everywhere pursued 
him. 

The first time he was in the hospital, 
he continued there about five months. 
He afterwards returned, and remained a 
few weeks. But his confinement did not 
suffice to cure his appetite, or to relieve 



64 MEMOIR OP THE 

his miseries. The sources of his sufferings 
were within himself, and no bolted doors 
or prison walls could exclude them. 

After finally leaving the hospital, he was 
in a more miserable condition, if possible, 
than ever before. The last glimmering 
hope had now failed him. Every thing val- 
uable, except his life, (and that was now a 
curse to him), was gone, apparently for- 
ever. His former friends had become dis- 
couraged, and abandoned him. His money, 
health and strength, were all gone. He 
had no home — no hope. There was but 
one opening before him, and that was, the 
drunkard's grave. 

He left his native place at this time, with 
the intention of suicide. He prepared 
to meet death, and to find a resting-place 
for his weak, trembling body, away from 
his former home. After proceeding on his 
way some ten or twelve miles, he ap- 
proached the residence of his only living 
sister. That he might not be seen by her, 
or by any of her family, he purposed to 



REV. HARRISON FAIRFIELD. 65 

leave the road, just before he came to her 
house, and take a round-about path through 
the fields, to a pond, where he intended to 
drown himself. 

But just as he was about to turn from 
the road, he fell down in a fit, was found 
there insensible, was taken up, and carried 
to his sister's house. And here he re- 
mained for about two years. As he had 
never had a fit before, the hand of Provi- 
dence was distinctly visible in this. By 
means of it he was saved, not only 
from death, but from dying by his own 
hands. 

While at this place, though weak in 
body, and in a very depressed and misera- 
ble state of mind, he was more free from 
the immediate effects of strong drink, and 
on the whole less wretched, than he had 
been for two years before. Many a time, 
while here, when he would awake in the 
night, and find himself free from the 
effects of ardent spirit, has he arisen from 
his bed, kneeled down, and thanked God 



66 MEMOIR OP THE 

that lie was, for the time, out of the power 
of his terrible enemy, and most earnestly 
prayed that he might ever remain so. But 
the day of his deliverance was not yet. 
Even here he sometimes fell into the hands 
of the destroyer ; and at the expiration of 
the second year, these friends lost all hope 
and patience, and with others, gave him up 
for lost. 

There was now but one resource left to 
him. He had a few friends in Massachu- 
setts, who had known him in his best state, 
and who had never seen him since his fall. 
To them he resolved to go, and, if possible, 
to reform. Praying to God to keep him, 
he commenced his journey ; and though he 
arrived there in due time, it was in such a 
condition as to make him an unwelcome 
visitor. However, remembering what he 
once was, their sympathy was greatly ex- 
cited, and they made an effort, yes, two or 
three efforts, to restore him ; but in vain. 
Regarding his case as hopeless, they also 
abandoned him. 






REV. HARRISON FAIRFIELD. 67 

Once more, then, we see him, thrown out 
of an excellent situation, and doomed to 
wander, a homeless, penniless vagabond 
among strangers. In November, 1844, he 
found himself in a large town near Boston, 
where he was entirely unknown, and where 
he had never been before. He hardly 
knew how he came there, but there he was, 
one hundred and fifty miles from home, or 
rather, from the place which was once 
his home. He had no money, and was 
almost destitute of clothes, cold winter was 
coming on, and as he walked the streets of 
that village, hungry, sick, and weary, 
without food, shelter, or friend, his situa- 
tion was truly deplorable. When he saw 
the cheerful lights in the windows, and 
heard the happy voices within, and remem- 
bered that only a little while before he was 
thus comfortably situated, and that he had 
forfeited all by his own sins, the anguish of 
his mind was inconceivable — the cup of his 
misery was full. 

After remaining in this place about a 



68 MEMOIR OF THE 

week, he went to a joint stock Community, 
established in a neighboring town, and pro- 
posed to become a member of it. He 
hoped that here he should be out of the 
reach of his worst enemy. He was kindly 
received, and remained in the Community 
almost two years. He might have re- 
mained longer, but the inmates — notwith- 
standing their unbounded faith in man, 
and in the great power of kindness — be- 
came at length discouraged with him, and 
gave him up. When free from strong 
drink, there was much in his appearance 
that was hopeful. It really seemed, at 
times, as though a reformation would be 
effected. But though he ardently longed 
for deliverance, and often prayed for it, 
there seemed to be a decree of the Omnipo- 
tent against it. When appearances were 
the most encouraging, something would 
occur to prostrate hope, and the enemy 
would triumph over him. 

The artifices of Satan were many, and 
he practiced them as far as he was per" 



REV. HARRISON FAIRFIELD. 69 

mitted ; but his power over ' this poor, 
fallen, scourged victim, delivered into his 
hands for a time, that he might learn not 
to blaspheme, was about to end. It is 
a fearful thing for one who has taken the 
vows of God upon him, and promised, 
before angels and men, to seek and find his 
happiness in God, to turn back from him to 
the world — thus virtually saying that re- 
ligion has disappointed him, and that there 
is more enjoyment in sinful pursuits than 
in the service of Christ. And there is 
a bitter cup — " the wormwood and the 
gall" — presented to lips of every such 
wanderer; and he must drink it to the 
dregs, ere he can expect to be restored 
to the hopes and comforts of religion. 

Though the power of Satan over the 
subject of this narrative is about to be 
broken, his sufferings do not end here, 
as we shall see. But the prayers of his 
sainted mother are about to be answered, 
and henceforward we are to contemplate 



70 MEMOIR OP THE 

him in the progress of his return. It is a 
rugged path, of which he knew but little 
before he attempted it. But of this we 
shall speak in the following chapter* 






EEV. HARRISON FAIRFIELD. 71 



CHAPTER V. 

Mr. P. leaves the Community in Despair — Resolves to End his 
Life by Strong Drink — He is surprised to find that he cannot 
taste Spirits — His Appetite changed into a strong Aversion — 
This Result in answer to Prayer— Still opposed to Religion and 
the Church — Dissatisfied with Universalism — Flies to Sweden- 
borgianism, Pourierism, and Socialism— His Opinion of the Swe- 
denborgian Theory. 

When it was fully determined that Mr. 
Fairfield was to leave the Community— 
when that last, unlooked-for resource had 
failed, and the most enthusiastically hopeful 
had despaired of him — to what earthly 
resource could he look for help ? Yea, 
to what heavenly resource could he look ? — 
for the heavens over his head had long 
seemed to be brass, and prayer on his 
behalf had been in vain. 

When he left the Community, he left 
with the determination to drink all he could 
get, and destroy himself as soon as possible. 
He left, ostensibly, to go to his native 



72 MEMOIR OF THE 

place, but not knowing at all -where he 
should stop. 

On his arrival in Boston, (only a few 
miles from the Community,) he applied at 
once for intoxicating drink. But judge 
of his surprise and astonishment, when he 
found, upon trial, that he could not drink 
it. Though his stomach was in a good, 
normal state, not having drunk any thing 
for three weeks, yet no sooner did he smell 
the liquor, than that organ was violently 
convulsed. 

Indeed, before he attempted to drink, he 
perceived that the raging thirst which had 
burned within him, with unequal though 
always with great intensity, for six years, 
had subsided ; so that he only attempted to 
drink, at this time, to drown conscious- 
ness, and lose the terrible realization of his 
condition, in intoxication. 

To effect this, he persevered in his 
attempts to drink for several days ; and 
though he did succeed, once or twice, 
in swallowing the liquor, no sooner did it 



REV. HARRISON FAIRFIELD. 73 

enter the stomach than it was ejected, with 
the most violent convulsions. And from 
that day, as long as he lived, Mr. F. never 
felt the least desire or inclination to drink. 
He was often exposed in the midst of liquor 
and liquor consumers, but remained 
throughout as free from his old longings 
and thirstings as an infant. Indeed, the 
burning desire which he used to feel, was 
turned into a strong aversion. He loathed 
the intoxicating cup as intensely as he 
before longed for it. 

On one occasion, some months after his 
deliverance, in a fit of desperation, Mr. F. 
renewed the attempt to drown himself 
in partial intoxication ; and though he suc- 
ceeded, two or three times, in getting down 
a small quantity of liquor, it failed en- 
tirely of producing its usual effects. It 
was swallowed with the utmost difficulty, 
and when swallowed, it intoxicated no 
more than so much water. This experi- 
ment had a lasting effect upon him. He 



74 MEMOIR OP THE 

dared not repeat it, believing, that in 
so doing, he fearfully tempted God. 

The account here given, it will be ad- 
mitted on all hands, is very strange. It 
was so to Mr. F. He consulted physicians 
on the subject. He looked into many a 
volume, in hope to find some similar case, 
or to find some law or principle of physi- 
ology, by which to account for it ; but in 
vain. All that he knows of the matter is, 
that such was the fact ; and the only ex- 
planation he was ever able to give, is 
the following, which we will now briefly 
state. 

About three weeks before he left the 
Community, one of its members, without 
the knowledge of Mr. Fairfield, wrote to a 
pious friend in his native town, stating 
what had been his conduct there, and 
what was the result of all their endeavors 
on his behalf. From Boston, Mr. F. went 
directly to the place where this friend 
resided ; he soon met him, and had conver- 
sation with him respecting his condition 



EEV. HARRISON FAIRFIELD. 75 

• 

and prospects. This friend then said to 
him — 

" Harrison, I believe you are about to be 
saved from the power of strong drink ; for, 

upon receiving the letter of Mr. 

I was moved to pray for you as I never did 
before. I was so sensibly assisted in my 
prayers — I prayed with such an importunate 
agony — with such an energy of faith — that 
I felt assured of a favorable answer. I 
cannot doubt that you are about to be 
delivered." 

Such was the account he gave to me 
and such were the connected results. And 
now what shall we say to all this ? By 
what name shall we call it ? I do not call 
the change which took place in me a mira- 
cle, though it was evidently out of the 
ordinary course of nature. But that it 
was accomplished by the direct power of 
God, and in answer to the prayer of my 
Christian friend, I cannot entertain a 
doubt. 



76 MEMOIR OP THE 

• 

Behold now this young man, plucked 
by Divine power from the devouring jaws 
of his worst enemy, weak in body, dis- 
trusted by former friends, stripped of every 
thing but life, with his mind stuffed full of 
errors, and overflowing with hatred against 
the truth, and the church of God. Al- 
though Universalism was the chief ground 
of his reliance, yet the great, fundamental 
doctrines of the gospel, which were so 
inwrought into his very being at the time of 
his supposed conversion that he could never 
eradicate them, would not suffer him to 
rest quietly on that foundation. Conse- 
quently, he was driven to seek for straw 
and stubble, with which to cover over the 
quagmires, and stop up the pit-falls, through 
which he feared he might stumble into 
that hell of which he had had so many 
foretastes. 

He first searched among the writings 
of Swedenborg for metaphysical opiates, 
with which to soothe his troubled spirit. 
Failing there, he next had recourse to 






REV. HARRISON FAIRFIELD. 77 

Fourier, who attempted to organize a sort 
of Swedenborgian heaven on the earth ; 
but with no better success. Then he 
rested awhile, or tried to rest, in a coarse 
kind of Garrisonian Socialism. In short, 
he ransacked every system, and sounded 
every sea of error in vain, that he might 
if possible, find rest for his weary, wounded 
spirit somewhere out of Christ, and a path 
that should lead him out of a sorrowing 
world, and up to heaven, without the ne- 
cessity of returning to the narrow way 
which he had left. 

He made a more determined and perse- 
vering effort to rest in the Swedenborgian 
theory, than in any other ; but he could 
not succeed. The nutriment was too thin 
and unsubstantial for one who had been 
reared from infancy upon the strong meat 
of Calvinism. There is something pecu- 
liarly fascinating in the Swedenborgian 
theory, to a certain class of minds, and to 
all classes in certain conditions. As a 
community, the members of the New 

7* * 



78 MEMOIR OF THE 

Church are intelligent and refined, and 
they pride themselves not a little on the 
possession of these qualities. It has been 
said that their books, or some of them, are 
of a licentious character. Of this, others 
can judge as well as I. But that they are 
themselves, a corrupt, licentious people 
I utterly deny. I feel sure that this is not 
the case. Purity of mind and life they 
hold to be one of the cardinal virtues. 

Some have expressed surprise that so 
many intelligent persons — some of whom 
have been educated in the true faith — 
should embrace this system; but there 
is nothing surprising about it, unless it 
be the ingenuity of the system itself. It 
is indeed a most artfully contrived net, 
set midway between the cross of Christ and 
infidelity, to catch and to keep unwary 
souls. 

I may illustrate this thought by an exam- 
ple. In the county where I was born, 
there lived for many years, an intelligent, 
well-educated, wealthy physician. He was 



REV. HARRISON FAIRFIELD. 79 

a proud, influential man, and had been 
a member of Congress. He was known as 
an avowed infidel. He had a lovely 
daughter, an only child, and his life, his 
all, seemed bound up in her. When about 
sixteen years old, she was taken sick, and 
died. 

The proud, deistical father was inconsol- 
able. He was bowed down to the earth, 
and groaned under a load of intense 
misery. His infidelity afforded him no 
consolation. No light broke in upon him 
from the spiritual world. To him all was 
dark beyond the tomb ; and the most he 
could do was to cling to the material 
remains of the lost child. He devoted 
himself to the dead body, and spent 
hours and days in the tomb with it. 

In this deplorable state, his attention 
was directed to the writings of Sweden- 
borg. By a sympathizing female friend, 
the consolations of the New Church were 
spread out before him. Here was an op- 
portunity to believe in a future state of 



80 MEMOIR OF THE 

existence, and in a Divine revelation, with 
out mortifying his vanity, or giving up any 
thing which his proud spirit chose to 
retain. 

There was also something peculiarly 
soothing in the belief that his daughter 
was still about him — that he was influenced 
by her, and that she felt his influence in 
return. 

The infidel doctor embraced the New 
Church doctrines, and found the comfort 
which they are fitted to afford. And yet, 
in all that is peculiar to Christianity, he 
was scarcely less an infidel than he was be- 
fore. 

Another influence growing out of the the- 
ory, and one which operates to bring in 
numbers who profess to believe the gospel, 
is this. There is a class of nervous, sen- 
sitive persons, who live in a constant dread 
of death. They cannot think of death and 
the grave without shuddering. How much 
an uneasy conscience has to do in this 
matter, I do not know, nor is it material as 



REV. HARRISON FAIRFIELD. 81 

to the result, for the conscience, as well 
as the nerves may be quieted by the pre- 
scriptions of Swedenborg. 

Now when a person of this class is told 
that death is but an unconscious passage of 
the spirit from one body into another 
exactly resembling this, — a dropping to 
sleep and waking up in a body and a world 
so much like the present, that we know not 
that we are dead, until we are informed of 
the fact, — and that we then and there 
choose our own society and condition, — 
it serves greatly to soothe their troubled 
spirits, and quiet their fears of death. 

But how much is there in this pleasing 
dream to satisfy a starving, perishing 
soul, which has seen its own exceeding sin- 
fulness in the light of God's holy law, and 
felt its need of the blood of atonement to 
wash away its guilt ? 

On this point the writer of this narrative 
could never feel satisfied, though he tried 
hard and long. The atonement of Christ, 
and justification by faith in his blood — 



82 MEMOIR OF THE 

doctrines which Swedenborg condemns and 
ridicules — he never could reason away, or 
see how they could be dispensed with, and 
the sinner be saved. 

There is also another thing in the system 
of Swedenborg in which he found it im- 
possible to acquiesce, viz., that God has 
made a revelation to man, and caused it to 
be written in human language, and yet 
so concealed the meaning under corres- 
pondences and symbols, that man was none 
the wiser for it, until Swedenborg arose, to 
give the hidden, internal sense. 

Swedenborg tells us that he saw those in 
the other world, who on earth had believed 
in justification by faith, and who persisted 
in such belief, riding upon horses, with 
their faces towards the horses' tails. I 
think that those who accept his theory 
of revelation, might not improperly be thus 
represented. 

The members of this New Church, so 
called, are widely separated from all other 
sects ; they belong to a new and higher 



REV. HARRISON FAIRFIELD. 83 

dispensation ; they think it wrong to attend 
other meetings ; their system is calculated, 
not to subdue pride, but to cherish it ; and 
effectually cuts them off from all participa- 
tion in the benefits of the gospel. The 
doctrines of the gospel, and the system of 
Swedenborg can never harmonize to- 
gether. 



84 MEMOIR OF THE 



CHAPTER VI. 

Fourierism — Its Connection with Swedenborgianism— Its Anti- 
Christian Character — Mr. Fairfield's Account of the Community 
to which he belonged — His Experience in it — The Hatred of its 
Leaders to Evangelical Religion, and the Grounds of it — Mr. 
Fairfield's Views of the System. 

I have before said that Swedenborg's 
theory of society and organization in the 
spiritual world, was adopted by Fourier, 
and applied to men, and to social organiza- 
tion in this material world. Similarity 
of taste and occupation produces an affinity 
that unites, and an attraction that holds to- 
gether, such as can harmoniously and hap- 
pily live and operate together ; while dis- 
similarity of disposition and taste separates 
individuals from each other, and from occu- 
pations for which they are unfit, and in 
which they can be neither good nor happy. 
Though there have been a few Socialist 
Communities which have retained certain 



REV. HARRISON FAIRFIELD. 85 

portions of the Bible, and professed to 
make a great account of them, yet the 
spirit of Socialism and the spirit of the 
gospel are essentially antagonistic, and can 
never be made to harmonize together. So- 
cialists believe that all that is necessary to 
make man good, pure, and happy, is to 
bring him into a position, an organization, 
favorable to the development of the better 
part of his nature. His sin and his misery 
are all chargeable to his outward circum- 
stances and education. 

But such a system is obviously defective 
and anti-christian. It overlooks entirely 
the fact of man's natural corruption and 
sinfulness. The leopard cannot change his 
spots, merely by moving from one place to 
another. The Community in which Mr. 
Fairfield spent almost two years, made 
great profession of attachment to certain 
parts of the Bible — such parts as did not 
directly thwart their principles, or condemn 
their practices. Nearly the whole of the 
Old Testament, however, and those parts of 



86 MEMOIR OF THE 

the New, which did not represent man 
as an object of pity, and a victim of impos- 
ture, were set aside. 

All that was before wanting to drive 
young Fairfield as far from God, and from 
the spirit of the gospel, as a human soul 
can go, until it goes out of this world 
of probation to the world of despair, was 
furnished by his two years' residence in 
the Community. I verily believe that there 
is more hope of an avowed atheist, than 
of a proud, self-sufficient Socialist, who 
claims to have extracted from the Bible 
all that is worth having, and wrought it 
into his system of spiritual licentious- 
ness. 

The members of this particular Com- 
munity professed to be the purest and most 
devoted Christians. And yet they hated 
the church of God with a perfect hatred, 
and lost no opportunity to malign and 
injure it. The evangelical, orthodox 
church was the first and great obstacle 
to be demolished, before the race could be 



REV. HARRISON FAIRFIELD. 8T 

brought up into a state of perfection. 
And why ? Because the members of the 
church would neither engage in, nor coun- 
tenance, any reformatory movement which 
went to distract or weaken itself. Then 
these church-members have such a feeling 
of reverence for authority, (meaning the 
Bible), that they will not go contrary to it, 
however much new light may be shed upon 
a subject. Besides, this orthodox religion 
has a disastrous influence upon the young. 
It cramps the energy of the human soul, 
and makes man contented in his miseries, 
by inculcating a reliance upon Divine 
Providence, instead of encouraging a spirit 
of self-reliance. How many young men, 
religiously educated, have been caught in 
this snare, and led blindly on to infidelity, 
will never be known till the last judgment 
day. 

The subject of this narrative readily 
assented to the charges above noticed against 
evangelical religion, and entered into the 
warfare against the church of Christ. But 



88 MEMOIR OF THE 



he had not long acted with his new breth- 
ren, before he began to be seriously trou- 
bled, and even shocked, at their profound 
ignorance of the church, its ministers, and 
members. 

0, what a melting, overwhelming emo- 
tion would the remembrance of his old 
eonference-meetings sometimes bring over 
him. He would then say to himself — 

" Could these people attend one such 
meeting and hear the humble confessions, 
and witness the unfeigned penitence of 
these church-members, whom they now so 
abuse and slander, they must change their 
minds and their practice. " 

He ought to have said this aloud, in the 
hearing of his companions. He was also 
constrained to see, that the church which 
he had deserted and betrayed, with all its 
imperfections, was a very paradise, com- 
pared with the condition of those who 
were so vehemently crying out against 
it. 

During the two years that Mr. F. spent 









REV. HARRISON FAIRFIELD. 89 

in the Community, there was scarcely an 
hour in which there was not some trouble, 
friction, or contention. Human nature, 
forced into so unnatural a position, was 
constantly rebelling. The inmates were 
ever changing their plan of organization 
and operation, and were always sure that 
the last plan was the true one, until finally 
they gave up in despair, and went back 
to the old and oft-abused position of the 
rest of mankind. 

Meekness, forbearance, non-resistance — 
these words were constantly on their lips, 
while persecution even for opinion's sake 
was their constant practice. Never has 
the writer of this witnessed, in any com- 
munity, such a relentless spirit of perse- 
cution, as was habitually manifested by 
these people. He who dared to oppose the 
leaders, was, if, possible, driven from the 
Community ; and not only so, he was fol- 
lowed up with a vindictive malice, which 
strongly contrasted with the professions of 



90 MEMOIR OF THE 

forbearance and non-resistance which were 
constantly heard. 

I have nothing personal against these 
people ; on the contrary, 1 have many reasons 
to think and speak of them with gratitude. 
I was kindly received by them, and kindly 
treated, at a time when I was without friends, 
and without any means of support or com- 
fort. Still, I soon found that if well-treated, 
I was a well-treated slave. The evil was in 
the system, and not in the men. The 
gospel does not bring forth fruit such 
as this; and the church, far as it is below 
its proper standard, has a thousand-fold 
more of the spirit of the gospel, than those 
who in their pride and self-sufficiency, 
put the authority of Divine revelation 
below their own notions of right and 
wrong. 

How often have I heard preachers and 
lecturers among this people, use language 
like the following : 

" Am I to be bound and directed by the 
authority of another ? If Jesus Christ tells 



1 



EEV. HARRISON FAIRFIELD. 91 

me that slavery is right, and that I must not 
labor for its extermination, I tell Jesus 
Christ that he is mistaken, and I will not be 
bound by his authority. If the Bible tells 
me that wine-drinking is proper, I tell the 
Bible that I know better." 

Each seemed anxious to outdo all others 
in extravagance of speech, and in the bold- 
ness of his blasphemy. 

These Socialists had a great sympathy 
for thieves and murderers. They were to 
be pitied more than blamed, being victims 
of a false state of society. To this, and 
not to a depraved and wicked heart, their 
crimes against society were to be im- 
puted. 

It was the delight of this people to 
6 speak evil of dignitaries,' and it was one 
of their objections to the Bible, that it 
enjoined obedience to civil rulers. Rever- 
ence for authority, whether human or 
divine, was a great evil. It cramped and 
fettered the mind of man, and served 



92 MEMOIR OF THE 

to keep him out of the ranks of re- 
formers. 

It was interesting to study the history 
of these socialist reformers, and trace their 
progress from one degree of extravagance 
to another. Several years ago, when the 
criminality of the war spirit began to be 
discussed, a clergyman in Massachusetts 
embraced the peace doctrines. And this was 
well enough, if he could only have stopped 
there. But he soon came out a thorough- 
going non-resistant. Next he was a Come- 
outer from church and state, and was labor- 
ing diligently to bring both into contempt. 
After that he became a Socialist, and an in- 
fidel. He was a traducer of the great and 
good Washington, because he did not eman- 
cipate his slaves, and drive slavery from the 
new republic. The last we heard of him, 
he had waged war with death. He was de- 
nouncing people for the sin of dying — 
insisting that it was unnecessary and 
wrong for any person to be sick or to 
die. 









REV. HARRISON FAIRFIELD. 93 

The president of the Community to 
which I belonged, began his public life a 
Freewill Baptist minister. But having an 
active, inquisitive mind, he was soon led to 
see that the infinite Creator must have had 
some purpose or plan in the creation of 
man, which he could not harmonize with 
his creed. And instead of being led into 
the system of doctrines which reconciles 
the purposes and providence of God with 
man's free agency, he embraced the theory 
of universal restoration. He next became 
a leader among the Socialists ; and was 
afterwards promoted to be president of 
a convention of spiritual rappers. 

I mention these cases for the purpose of 
showing that any man, who falls away from 
Christ, and attempts to build on some other 
foundation, will soon find his foundation 
giving way ; and he will be left in doubt 
and fear, his spiritual nature unsatisfied, 
and his soul in ruins. 

As to the favorite and principal charge 
which these men urge against the Bible , 



94 MEMOIR OF THE 

that it cramps the energies and dwarfs the 
efforts of men, by leading them to rely 
on the providence of God, I must say a few 
words in reply. 

Did a reliance upon God supersede the 
use of means, perhaps the charge might be 
sustained ; but it does not. Such a reli- 
ance as the Scriptures enjoin will be accom- 
panied by all suitable exertions. No means, 
except those which are sinful, are prohib- 
ited. And if, after all, our efforts fail, 
(as they often will,) it is confidence in God 
which alone sustains us. It is this which 
stimulates to new exertions. Without it 
we should sink in utter despair. 

Had it not been for his trust in an over- 
ruling Providence, the subject of this nar- 
rative would have sunk, years ago, into the 
grave of the suicide. He never lost en- 
tirely his confidence in God, and it was this 
which sustained him and carried him 
through. 

To the blessed Bible, and the religion of 



REV. HARRISON FAIRFIELD. 



95 



the Bible, man is a thousand-fold more 
indebted, than to all other influences. 
Let every young man remember, that those 
who seek to diminish his confidence in God, 
and in the word of God, are his worst ene- 
mies. Young Fairfield learned this lesson 
by a terrible experience. I hope my read- 
ers may learn it in some easier way. 



96 MEMOIR OF THE 



CHAPTER VII. 

The Feelings of Mr. F. during his Declension— The Striving Spirit 
Returns, and he is led to the Performance of Private Religious 
Duties — His Views as to a Particular Providence, and Prayer — His 
Destitute Condition, outwardly — No Employment, no Means of 
Support, and almost no Religious Privileges — Extracts from his 
Private Journal — His Mind gradually Enlightened — Remarkable 
Providences — His Wants always Supplied. 

We have said in a previous chapter, that 
when Mr. F. lost, in the wonderful manner 
above described, his appetite for strong 
drink — lost it so entirely as to be incapable 
of tasting liquor — his mind was, neverthe- 
less, full of the most detestable and ruinous 
errors. We have shown what these errors 
were — running down from the doctrine of 
universal restoration, to something as bad 
in its influence as atheism. The decline 
began, as we have seen, in the neglect of 
secret prayer, and the private devotional 
reading of the Scriptures, and ended — as 



REV. HARRISON FAIRFIELD. 97 

far from God and happiness as is possible, 
on this side hell. 

The church, which he once so ardently 
loved, and for whose prosperity he so often 
prayed, he now hated, and had really come 
to believe it his duty to labor for its over- 
throw. His Bible had long been wholly 
neglected, and most of its doctrines were 
repudiated. He agreed with his associates 
in denying the inspiration of the greater 
part of the sacred volume. 

But a faithful, merciful God would not 
suffer him very long to remain in such 
a state — more especially after he became a 
sober man. Soon after he ceased to drink, 
the Holy Spirit returned, to operate upon 
the heart which it had so long forsaken. 
He began once more to read the Bible ; 
and his attention was particularly drawn 
to those passages which set forth an over- 
ruling Providence, and the readiness of 
God to hear and answer prayer. These 
were so powerfully impressed upon him, 
that he could hardly persuade himself that 



y& MEMOIR OP THE 

he had not discovered a new and important 
truth of Divine revelation. He began to 
talk upon the subject, and to write upon it 
in the newspapers ; and so deeply was his 
mind moved concerning it, that he really 
thought that all Christians must either 
view the matter as he did, or renounce the 
authority of Jesus Christ. He settled 
down at length upon the belief that an 
individual desiring any particular object, 
should humbly seek it of God in prayer ; 
employing at the same time all suitable 
means, and confidently trusting to God's 
providence for success. On this conclusion 
he has rested ever since, and has acted 
upon it with increasing confidence. 

Outwardly, Mr. F. was, at this time, in a 
miserable condition. He had but little 
bodily or mental strength. He was without 
occupation or home, both of which he 
greatly needed and desired, and for which 
he began to seek and to pray. And though 
he was long tried and often disappointed, 
yet a Divine power was imparted, to keep 



REV. HARRISON FAIRFIELD. 99 

alive his 'faith, and enable him to per- 
severe. 

It was so ordered in Providence, that for 
years after Mr. F. returned to his Bible 
and his closet, he was not brought under a 
health] y religious influence. He had not 
the privilege of hearing five sound evangel- 
ical sermons in as many years. The work 
of recovery was gradually progressing, but 
it was entirely between God and his own 
soul. He loved the Word of God, and 
studied it, and took great delight in the 
private exercises of religion ; and though 
separated from all outward religious advan- 
tages, these exercises were sustained, with- 
out flagging, for years. This was the more 
remarkable, since, instead of receiving a 
speedy answer to his prayers, and those 
blessings from God which he expected and 
sought, these blessings were deferred — 
kept at a distance — and he was only led out 
of one trial and trouble into others, which 
were often greater and sorer than the 
former. These things were 'dark and dis- 



100 MEMOIR OF THE 

tressing to him then, though he now clearly 
sees that they were all ordered in wisdom. 
As God's people of old were kept forty 
years in the wilderness, that they might be 
prepared to enter the promised land ; so 
this young man was tried and proved, that 
he might be the better fitted for the work 
assigned him. 

We have some account of Mr. Fairfield's 
difficulties at this time, in a private journal 
which he kept. Under date of Jan. 16, 
1848, he says : — 

" Under a sense of my need of Divine 
direction, I was led months ago — almost 
immediately after my deliverance from in- 
temperate habits — to look up to God and 
cry, ' Lord, what wilt thou have me to do ? 
Where wilt thou have me to go ? ' I 
have continued thus to pray, with more 
or less of earnestness, ever since, and 
though I have seen some indications of 
God's directing providence, yet I am now 
as much in the dark as ever. I pray much ; 



REV. HAEEISON FAIRFIELD. 101 

I search the Bible daily for direction and 
strength ; but as yet, all is dark. I see no 
light, no opening in providence for me. 
Will not God make one ? I trust he will, 
for Jesus' sake." 

At another time he writes : — 

" If I thought there was nothing for me 
to do, for God's glory and the good of my 
fellow-men, in raising them up from igno- 
rance and vice, I should wish to die ; and if 
it were lawful for me to do so, I would 
pray, ' Lord, take me out of the world.' 
I am willing to go any where, to do 
any thing, and to suffer any thing, if I can 
know for a certainty that it is the will 
of God. I feel a special desire to do 
something for the children in our large 
cities, who are growing up in vice and 
ignorance, and preparing for ruin here and 
hereafter. And I now most deliberately 
and solemnly consecrate myself, with all 
that I am, and have, or shall ever have, 



102 MEMOIR OP THE 

to the service of God in this way, or in any 
other way in which he shall please to 
employ me ; promising never to spend time 
or money to gratify sense or pride, but 
use all that I am entrusted with for God's 
glory." 

A little later he writes : — 

" I am still left in doubt and uncer- 
tainty as to what I shall do ; or rather, 
I see nothing at present that I can do. 
I have prayed long and earnestly, in 
Christ's name, for direction ; and when 
I think of his promises as to the efficacy of 
such petitions— so positive, so explicit, and 
so variously illustrated — and find that there 
is no answer to my prayers ; that they seem 
to be wholly disregarded ; that I am run- 
ning into new difficulties, and cannot even 
support myself ; while those that blaspheme 
his name, and do not ask or desire his 
assistance, prosper in the world and in- 
crease in riches ; — when I think of these 



REV. HARRISON FAIRFIELD. 103 

things, then come suspicions and doubts as 
to the truth of God's promises, and all is so 
dark, chaotic, and distracting, that I am 
ready to sink, and feel at times impatient. 

" I think there never was a time when I 
so forcibly felt the need of God's direction, 
as now. I must believe that I am not only 
willing but anxious to do his will — to labor, 
in such ways as will but please and glorify 
my God and Saviour. If he will only tell 
me what he would have me do, even if I 
could see no present good likely to result 
from it, still I would labor on, trusting 
in God to bring forward the harvest in his 
own time and way. I trust that God will 
yet hear me, dark as my present prospects 
are. I know that I am a vile sinner, 
deserving only to be rejected and cast 
away ; yet for Christ's sake, and his word's 
sake, he will yet hear me, and show me his 
salvation. 

" I am not conscious that I am regarding 
iniquity in my heart, so that God canndjfc 
hear me. If it be so, I beseech that he 



104 MEMOIR OF THE 

would show it me, and help me to pnt 
it away. If it were right, I could pray 
that God would grant me one answer — one 
token of Fatherly recognition, even if 
I must be punished in some other way ; 
so essential is it to the conservation of 
my faith. 0, Eternal Father ! hear me, 
and let me know what thou wouldst have 
me do. Or if thou hast nothing for me to 
do, then tell me that thou wouldst have 
me suffer, or die, or both, for thy glory and 
man's good. This would be a thousand 
times preferable to this insupportable un- 
certainty and darkness. I am ready and 
willing to suffer and die for the glory of 
God ; but to be shut up in darkness and 
doubt, crying and praying without any 
answer, I cannot endure. 0, let me hear 
God's voice, and if it commands me to 
starve in prison, or die on a scaffold, I am 
content. But his voice I must hear, or 
I shall certainly perish." 

The above passages were written by Mr. 



REV. HARRISON FAIRFIELD. 105 

F. about eighteen months after the cure of 
his intemperance. It will be remembered 
that, previous to that event, he had forfeited 
the confidence and worn out the patience of 
all his friends. Even his family connections 
had abandoned him. And though he had 
now been, for some time, a sober man, yet 
confidence, under such circumstances, is of 
slow growth. It is not soon or easily recov- 
ered. It will be remembered, too, that Mr. 
F. had not yet made his peace with the 
church, or taken any steps towards it. 

The Holy Spirit had been striving with 
him. He had been so far recovered as 
to love his Bible and his closet ; but his 
prejudices against the church seem not to 
have been fully overcome. Add to all this 
his native, shrinking bashfulness and mod- 
esty ; his unwillingness to obtrude himself 
upon the notice of others, or to ask their 
favor ; and it will not seem strange that he 
found himself comparatively alone in the 
world, without employment or home. It 
was this which tried him more than any 
thing else. 



106 MEMOIR OF THE 

It was to be relieved from this embarrass- 
ment that he so importunately cried and 
prayed. He was willing to do any thing 
for the honor of God, and the good of his 
fellow-men ; but his fellow-men distrusted 
him — perhaps avoided him. He felt that 
he had talents, but was constrained to bury 
them in the earth. Without employment 
friends, or home, and apparently shut out 
from the favor of God, he was left to suffer 
and cry alone. 

About a month later than the date of 
the last extracts, we find him writing as 
follows : — 

" God has heard my cry ; and though he 
has not yet answered my prayer in the way 
that I expected, yet he has strengthened 
my faith, which without an answer must 
have failed. I have found employment by 
which I shall be able to support myself; 
and though it is not an employment to my 
taste, or which promises to be of much 
benefit to the world, yet as God has given 



REV. HARRISON FAIRFIELD, 107 

it, I gratefully accept of it, and trust it 
may be to the glory of his name. 

" I have been led to think much, of late, 
of the life to come, and of God as the 
author of a blissful and glorious immortal- 
ity. I have been led to think of Christ, as 
God manifest in the flesh, and of his suffer- 
ings and redemption ; and I feel more than 
ever anxious, if he will permit me, to labor, 
suffer, or even die for his glory. I know 
that I have been a vile wretch ; but how it 
will glorify Christ and honor his word, 
if he should pardon and save such a rebel 
as I have been." 

Having given the above extracts from the 
private journal of Mr. F., for the purpose 
of showing his feelings in that trying 
period, between his recovery from intem- 
perance and his restoration to the church, 
we return to the narrative before us. It is 
Mr. F. speaking of himself, though speak- 
ing in the third person. 

Gradually, and one at a time, the fatal 



108 MEMOIR OF THE* 

errors he had imbibed, were made to give 
place to the truths of the gospel. Many of 
these errors were given up with great re- 
luctance. He was loth to believe that he 
had suffered so much for nothing ; that his 
boasted new light was all darkness, and his 
newly found truths infernal lies. As to 
returning to the orthodox church, against 
which he had felt and expressed so much 
philanthropic wrath, he felt that he could 
not and would not do it. When some long 
discarded truth would come back to his 
mind, and produce its former impression 
there, his emotions for the time would 
nearly overcome him. Then it would be 
suggested to him that God might ultimately 
restore him to the church, and even bring 
him into the ministry. But these sugges- 
tions were unwelcome to him, and he would 
try to put them away. 

Mr. F. at this time laid great stress upon 
his impressions, regarding them almost in 
the light of revelations. He records some 
instances which are very remarkable, and 



REV. HARRISON FAIRFIELD. 109 

which must have had a great influence upon 
him :- — 

" The impression forced itself upon me 
at a certain time, that an acquaintance 
of mine, a deaf and dumb man, living some 
fifty miles off, would die on a particular 
day. I tried to throw off the unwelcome 
impression, but could not. It followed me 
day after day, up to the time set, when in 
fact, (as we shortly after heard,) he did 
die. I do not record this as any thing 
marvelous. Indeed, I have no comments 
to make upon it, farther than to state the 
case, and to say that it tended mightily to 
break down and dissipate my old skeptical 
theories. 

"I mention another instance, not less 
remarkable. Seeking for employment at 
one time, I wandered to the town of Wis- 
casset, (Me.,) where I knew nobody, and 
had never been before. My pockets were 
empty, and my spirits depressed ; though I 
had some faith that God had not led me 
10 



110 MEMOIR OP THE 

there for naught. Finding nothing to do, 
I listlessly entered the shop of a mechanic. 
The owner of the shop rose up to meet 
me, and after looking earnestly at me for a 
moment, said : — 

" ' It has been deeply impressed upon me, 
for a short time, that such a man as you 
would come into my shop, in a destitute 
condition, and that I must relieve you. 
Here, take this bank-note, and use it as 
a gift from God.' 

" This man, whom I had never seen 
before, but who has been my counselor 
and benefactor since, is one of the most 
pious, devoted Christians I have ever 
known. He has often aided me from 
his purse ; but more by his excellent in- 
structions and advice. His religious expe- 
rience had been a remarkable one, and he 
had been led to take the same views with 
myself as to a particular providence, and 
the efficacy of prayer. 

" From this time, though almost perpet- 
ually disappointed in my worldly pursuits, 




Here take this bank note, and use it as a gift from God P. HO. 



REV. HARRISON FAIRFIELD. Ill 

and never able to accumulate any property, 
I rarely suffered for the want of money. 
Indeed, it often seemed as though I could 
not suffer. For, whether successful in 
business or not, my real wants were 
always provided for, and if I tried to 
lay up any thing beyond my present wants, 
it was sure to be taken from me. My case, 
in this respect, was much like that of 
the children of Israel in the wilderness. 
They collected their manna from day to 
day ; but if they laid up more than was 
necessary for present use, it would decay 
and perish." 



112 MEMOIR OF TEE 



CHAPTER VIII. 

The Feelings of Mr. F. Remarkably Revived — Asks Ad"rice of a 
Minister, but is Disappointed and Discouraged— Repeated Inter- 
views with Rev. Dr. Tappan— Makes a Humble Confession to the 
Church, and is Restored— His Motives for publishing this Narra- 
tive, and Feelings in regard to it. 

In the latter part of the year 1849, Mr. F. 
was favored with a special visitation of the 
Holy Spirit. One reason why he had 
avoided a return to the church was, that 
he dreaded to drink the bitter waters of re- 
pentance. But there was nothing bitter or 
dreadful in the deep repentings which \\e 
was now caused to experience. No tongue 
can describe the operation of the Spirit 
upon him at this time, or adequately set 
forth its effects. 

He is wont to compare his feelings to 
those of a little child, who had been lost in 
a dismal wilderness, in the night, chilled 
by the cold, pelted by the storms, and 



REV. HARRISON FAIRFIELD. 113 

appalled by the howlings of wild beasts, — 
who had at length been found and restored 
to its mother's arms, whence it could look 
back and contemplate the dangers and hor- 
rors it had passed. 

0, that those damnable theories, heresies, 
and blasphemies might appear to every 
young man, as they then appeared to him ! 
And 0, that sin of every kind, and those 
who labor to tempt the young and inexpe- 
rienced from the narrow way, might appear 
to others as they at that time seemed to 
him ! And 0, that others might have the 
same views which he then had, of the holy, 
compassionate, forgiving Saviour ! 

The Bible was a most precious book 
to the poor returning wanderer at this 
time. It was constantly in his pocket, or 
in his hand. He needed no arguments 
to convince him of its Divine inspiration, 
and most bitterly did he reproach himself 
for ever having questioned its binding 
authority. Through the business hours of 
the day, he looked forward* with exceeding 



114 MEMOIR OF THE 

interest, to the time when he could retire 
to his closet, to read his Bible, and pray, 
and hold communion with God. He was 
living at this time, as he had been before, 
in a wicked, Sabbath-breaking community, 
cut off from the privilege of attending 
religious meetings, and of holding inter- 
course with Christian friends ; but he had 
earnest longings for entire consecration to 
the service of God, and was anxiously 
inquiring how, in what place, and by what 
occupation, he could best promote the 
interests of his kingdom. 

In this state of mind, he took a journey 
on foot of more than thirty miles, to see 
and converse with a gospel minister whom 
he had known in his better days. He 
wished, first of all, to be restored to the 
church ; and then, in some suitable way 
and manner, to labor for the honor of God 
and the good of man. He found the min- 
ister at home ; but he seems not to have 
understood young Fairfield's case, and per- 
haps lacked confidence in the soundness of 



EEV. HARRISON FAIRFIELD. 115 

his reformation. He advised him to go 
back, to be industrious and prudent, and 
try to lay up money. He must engage in 
some lucrative employment, and endeavor, 
meanwhile, to make himself useful. 

This advice was well intended, but it 
had a most unhappy effect upon Mr. F. 
It disappointed him, discouraged him, and 
fatally interrupted, for a season, that peace 
of mind which he had enjoyed. He had 
made some slight advances towards the 
church with which he first united ; but 
these were not met as he expected. It was 
evident that a thorough confidence was not 
restored, and he finally resolved to follow 
the advice of the minister, and make one 
more attempt to accumulate property. 
He also resolved that he would not think 
more of returning to the church, until, by 
some marked and striking providence, God 
should open the way. His faith was a 
good deal staggered for the time ; but he 
soon found himself returning to his former 
expectation, and praying that God would 



116 MEMOIR OF THE 

bring him into some situation where he 
might labor directly for the advancement of 
his kingdom and glory. But God's time 
had not yet come, nor did it for more than 
a year. 

In the month of April, 1851, the Rev. 
Dr. Tappan, of Augusta, spent a Sabbath 
in Vassalborough, and preached to the 
church of which Mr. Fairfield had been a 
member. He was not now a member of 
this church, having been dismissed and 
recommended to another in the vicinity, 
previous to his fall. The church in Vas- 
salborough was at this time in a very 
low state. It had been for several years 
without a pastor, and the members 
that remained were few and disheart- 
ened. 

Dr. Tappan met Mr. F. and entered into 
conversation with him in regard to his re- 
ligious state. He advised him to visit 
the church to which he had last belonged, 
make confession of his faults, and be 
restored. But it was not convenient at 



REV. HARRISON FAIRFIELD. 117 

that time for Mr. F. to make such a visit. 
Besides, he still adhered to his resolution 
to take no steps towards a reunion with the 
church, until Providence should distinctly 
point out the way. 

In a subsequent conversation with Dr. 
Tappan, he was advised at least to write to 
the church to which he belonged, ascertain 
what his standing was, and have matters 
set right there. This remark struck him 
with peculiar force, and he resolved to 
do immediately as he had been advised. 
He wrote to the pastor of that church, 
making a humble confession of his sins, 
and asking to be restored, and recom- 
mended to the church in Yassalborough. 
This request was granted, and he was 
restored to the church in Yassalborough 
just twenty years from the time when 
he first became a member. He united 
with this church the first Sabbath in Sep- 
tember, 1831, and was restored to it the 
first Sabbath in September, 1851. 

And here his restoration properly ends. 



118 MEMOIR OF THE 

He has told the story both of his wreck 
and his rescue. He has told of his gradual 
departure from God, and of the abyss of 
ruin into which he at length plunged him- 
self; making shipwreck not only of faith 
and a good conscience, but of reputation, 
comfort, and of every other blessing of 
life. 

He has told, in part, the privations he 
suffered, the agonies he endured, through 
all this terrible period of backsliding ; — in 
part, we say ; for no tongue or pen can de- 
scribe them all. He has also traced the sev- 
eral steps of his recovery ; — how, (in answer 
to prayer, as he believes), his appetite for 
strong drink was suddenly and entirely 
taken away ; — how the Divine Spirit then 
visited him, and gradually enlightened 
him, displacing one error and prejudice 
after another, drawing him first to his 
Bible and his closet, strengthening his 
faith, reviving his hope, and at length 
bringing him back, by a long and painful 
pilgrimage, to the bosom of that church in 



REV. HARRISON FAIRFIELD. 119 

which he first publicly consecrated himself 
to God. 

A thousand interesting incidents have 
indeed been omitted ; but enough has been 
said to illustrate the truth and faithfulness 
of God, and furnish important lessons to 
men — more especially to the young. 

To the subject of this narrative, many 
portions of it are inexpressibly painful — 
reviving in his soul the most dreadful 
recollections. It was long before he could 
bring himself to think of its publication. 
But a sense of duty impels him, and he 
dares not withhold it any longer. " I will 
pay thee my vows, which my lips have 
uttered, and my mouth hath spoken, when 
I was in trouble." (Ps. 66 : 13). This vow 
he long ago made to God, and so clear and 
striking have been the indications of Prov- 
idence respecting it, that he can but humbly 
commit it to God, hoping and praying that 
good may come out of it. 

Dear reader, in the affecting story of the 
rich man and Lazarus, recorded in the six- 



120 MEMOIR OF THE 

teenth chapter of Luke, you remember 
the rich man desired that Lazarus might 
be sent to warn his brethren on the earth, 
lest they also should come to that place of 
torment. Now why did he not ask permis- 
sion to go on this errand of mercy himself ? 
Why ? I cannot pretend to assign all the 
reasons; but my own experience leads me 
to think that this may have been one : The 
pride of his heart forbade it. 

For I know, that no amount of misery 
or depth of degradation, can subdue or 
diminish the pride of the human heart. 
In the hour of my greatest misery, when 
my tongue was literally parched by the 
agony of my soul, I would on no consider- 
ation have come from under the feet of 
Satan, where I lay, to warn a single one of 
my fellow-men. My pride, which rose and 
raved with the increase of my misery, 
utterly forbade it. So impotent is mere 
suffering to humble and subdue the heart 
of man. 

But when the Holy Spirit, gentle as 



REV. HARRISON FAIRFIELD. 121 

dew in its operations, touched that proud 
heart of mine, it began to melt in humble 
penitence, and I longed for the opportunity 
to warn my fellow-men. And I knew not 
how I could more effectually do it, than by 
detailing the circumstances of my own ex- 
perience. ' Whoso readeth, let him under- 
stand.' 
ji 



122 MEMOIR OF THE 



CHAPTER IX. 

Mr. Fairfield's Concluding Remarks — Address to Young Christians, 
warning them against the Neglect of Private Religious Duties — 
Against Dangerous Books, and the Ambition to be thought 
Liberal — Address to Young Men in behalf of Temperance — Ad- 
dress to Backsliders, calling them to Immediate Repentance. 

In conclusion, there are three classes of 
persons to whom I am anxious to say a 
few words. And first, to the young 1 Christ- 
ian. Permit one, who once stood where 
you now stand, and who thought it impos- 
sible that he could ever fall into open sin, 
so as to dishonor his Saviour, and bring 
disgrace and ruin on himself, to offer a 
few suggestions by way of warning. I 
would earnestly warn you to beware of the 
first temptation to remissness or negligence 
in your religious duties. If you find your 
interest in secret prayer, in the word of 
God, and in a careful self-examination 
diminishing, it is time for you to be seriously 



EEV. HARRISON FAIRFIELD. 123 

alarmed. You may deem it a small matter, 
as I once did, to neglect these duties occa- 
sionally ; but depend upon it, the second 
omission will seem of less account to you 
than the first, and the third less than 
the second, and so on, until they are 
entirely neglected. It is only by sad expe- 
rience that you can know the power and 
the subtle artifices of your great adver- 
sary ; and if he can succeed in keeping you 
from your closet, he is sure of his prey. 
Resist him, then, steadfastly and persever- 
ingly. He will not be discouraged by a 
few repulses. He will approach you at 
different times, and in those ways in which 
he will be most likely to succeed. 

Beware of bad books. And by bad 
books I mean not merely immoral and infi- 
del works, but the most of those which 
come to us in beautiful binding, and under 
the fascinating guise of fiction. I do not 
say that persons should never read works of 
fiction. Such works are sometimes in- 
structive and useful, giving a true repre- 



124 MEMOIR OP THE 

sentation of life and nature. A genius, great 
and good, who is able to sound the very 
depths of human nature, being unfettered 
by the truth of narrative and history, can 
place his characters in such situations as to 
bring out any feeling or disposition he may 
choose, and thus make his story instructive 
and profitable. 

Still, there are books enough which are 
true and useful; and to these, I think, the 
young should chiefly confine themselves. 
If novels must be 'read, I do believe that 
they should be deferred, until Christian 
principles and habits are firmly established. 
I speak from sad experience on this point ; 
as the reader of the foregoing narrative 
will recollect. Novels were one of the 
baits of the great adversary, by which he 
lured me into his net, and well-nigh ac- 
complished my destruction. 

Have no ambition or desire to be thought 
" liberal Christians." This honeyed phrase 
is used to signify almost any thing — as the 
liberal Universalist, or the liberal infidel. 



REV. HARRISON FAIRFIELD. 125 

When you find that your liberality is tend- 
ing to lead you away from your closet, or 
is diminishing your interest in God's word 
and ordinances, renounce it, as you would 
a deadly poison. If you have been truly 
converted, I need say little more on this 
point. " Strait is the gate, and narrow is 
the way, which leadeth unto life ; " and 
those who strictly walk in this way, will be 
very likely to be called illiberal. Wo unto 
you, when these very liberal men speak 
well of you. The Christian's life is one of 
warfare. Now you may escape this warfare, 
and glide smoothly along on the current of 
worldly favor ; but where will the smooth 
current carry you ? Where ivill you 
go? 

The salvation of your own soul is a 
great work ; but in your endeavors for 
this, you must never forget your obliga- 
tions to care for others. Millions upon 
millions of your fellow-men are yet in total 
ignorance of the gospel. They know not 

that the Son of God has been manifested 
11* 



126 MEMOIR OF THE 

in the flesh, and made an atonement for 
the sins of men. To extend the knowledge 
of this blessed Saviour is a glorious work ; 
and a glorious reward awaits those who 
faithfully engage in it. But what will be 
the situation of those, in the last great day, 
who have no compassion for perishing 
souls, lying together in the prison-house of 
sin and death ? " Inasmuch as ye did 
it not to one of the least of these, my 
brethren, ye did it not to me." 

The next class to which I wish to say 
something consists of young men, who are 
not yet pledged to total abstinence. Of 
course, you do not think yourselves in any 
danger of becoming drunkards. It was so 
with me. I felt that there might be danger 
in the case of others. But though I saw 
around me miserable wretches, who were 
once as well guarded as myself, and flattered 
themselves in the same security ; still, I 
felt sure that /could control myself — that 
/should keep on the side of safety. And 



BEY. HARRISON FAIRFIELD. 127 

yet I did become a drunkard ; — and so may 
you. 

But I would appeal to another motive, 
aside from that of personal danger ; and 
that is, your obligations to care and labor 
for the good of others. This is not the 
stage of our endless existence in which we 
can look for, or innocently enjoy, rest. 
Rest from labor, the true friends of God 
and man will inscribe only on their tomb- 
stones. It is a noble sight to see a young 
man resolving, in the strength of Christ, and 
in the exercise of the powers which God has 
given him, that he will be something and 
do something in the world, and not slide 
through it into oblivion, leaving scarcely a 
trace behind. Of such it can only be said, 
that they lived, drew sustenance from the 
earth, and dying, nourished earth again ; 
and had they been used for compost, they 
could hardly have been more useless. Let 
the young who read these pages endeavor 
to live to better purpose. For their own 
safety, and the good of others, let them 



128 MEMOIR OF THE 

set the example of entire abstinence from 
all that intoxicates. Then can they, with 
a sober brain, a steady hand, and a bold, 
unflinching importunity, labor to rescue 
others from that yawning gulf which is per- 
petually swallowing up so many of the be- 
loved youth of our land. 

Finally, I would urge the backslider, in 
whatever stage he may be of that dismal 
path which leads him away from God and 
peace, instantly to stop and retrace his steps. 
If you have ever experienced the joy of 
pardoned sin, and the renewing influence of 
the Spirit upon your soul, you certainly 
know that there is no peace or comfort for 
you in your present state. Notwithstanding 
all your endeavors to quiet conscience, and 
allay your guilty fears, you have principles 
abiding with you — sighs, groans, and occa- 
sional aspirations — that will not suffer you 
to rest. What would be your feelings, if 
the holy and compassionate Jesus were 
now to look upon you, as he did upon 
Peter, in his backsliding ? Would you 



REV. HARRISON FAIRFIELD. 129 

not, like him, go out from your sinful asso- 
ciates, and weep bitterly ? 

Yet, it may be, the dread of that very 
bitterness — the wormwood and the gall — is 
what keeps you back from Christ. You 
dread to turn, and look him who died 
for you in the face. But of that bitter cup 
you must drink, sooner or later, and the 
longer you put it from you, the more 
bitter it will become. You must meet 
your injured Redeemer, either at the mercy- 
seat in this world, or at the judgment-seat 
in the world to come. 

I very well know with what dreadful 
thoughts your souls are at times afflicted. 
For several years after I became a church- 
member, I constantly read " The Christian 
Mirror," (a religious paper, published at 
Portland,) with interest and profit. When 
farthest away from God and happiness, con- 
fined with maniacs in a hospital, I acci- 
dentally met with a copy, and read it. 
It stunned my soul to its lowest depths. I 
resolved that, when I went out, I would 



130 MEMOIR OF THE 

read the Mirror weekly, and see if it 
would not be the means of my recovery. 
But I forgot and broke my resolution. So 
when I witnessed a communion service 
in the church of which I had been a 
happy member, 0, who can conceive of the 
misery I endured ! But there is no other 
way back, except that of repentance ; and 
if you persist, destruction, you well know, 
is before you. 

It may be that pride is the principal 
thing which keeps you away from Christ. 
You have enlisted, perhaps, as I did, with 
the enemies of religion, in open opposition 
to the cause of truth, and you are loth 
to give up your liberal views, and acknowl- 
edge that your boasted progress has been only 
from light to darkness, from good to evil. 
But remember that God says of those who 
are willing, in their sufferings, to flee to 
him for help, " Call upon me in the day of 
trouble ; I will deliver thee, and thou shalt 
glorify me." This was a glorious promise 
to me, when in the state of mind I have 



REV. HARRISON FAIRFIELD. 131 

just described. God, and he alone, has 
power to save, and thanks be to his name, 
he is ready to do it ; and the recovery of 
a wandering, backslidden child, will be 
glorious to himself. " Return, then, 0, 
backsliding children, saith the Lord, and I 
will not cause mine anger to fall upon you ; 
for I am merciful, saith the Lord, and 
I will not keep mine anger forever." (Jer. 
3 : 12.) " I will heal their backsliding ; I 
will love them freely ; for mine anger is 
turned away from him." (Hos. 14 : 4.) 



132 MEMOIR OP THE 



CHAPTER X. 



The Concluding Period of Mr. Fairfield's Life— His Sympathy for 
the Poor — A Temperance Lecturer — His Connection with the 
Seminary at Bangor — His Ministerial Labors and Successes at 
Bristol, Me.— His Death— A Dark Providence. 



Up to this point, we have had the manu- 
script of Mr. Fairfield for our guide. It 
has been thoroughly revised, some few 
things have been omitted, and the structure 
of the sentences has been often changed ; 
but the sense, the sentiment, has in all 
cases been retained. The narrative is his 
narrative ; the instructions, the counsels, 
the warnings and exhortations are all his. 
It remains that we complete the narrative 
of his life, and add such reflections of our 
own as the case requires. 

Soon after his leaving the Community, 
and his remarkable recovery from habits of 
intemperance — a recovery accomplished, 



EEV. HARRISON FAIRFIELD. 133 

not only without his agency, but apparently 
against his will — the Holy Spirit, he tells 
us, began specially to strive with him. 
He began to have serious thoughts and 
impressions ; and, taught as he had been, 
and still was, in the furnace of afflic- 
tion, he began to feel for the woes of 
others. 

" As I passed, in my poverty, by the 
houses of the rich, and saw their cheerful 
lights through the windows, and other visible 
marks of comfort and competence, then 
it was that I felt for the wretched poor, 
whose shivering frames the cold wind 
pierces, and who have nothing for the 
gnawings of hunger to feed upon but their 
very lives. The impression was so deep 
upon me, that nothing but death can ever 
remove it." 

It was under impressions such as these, 
that Mr. F. sought and prayed for some 
employment, (as we have seen in his 
12 



134 MEMOIR OF THE 

journal), where he might relieve the dis- 
tresses of others. He would gladly have 
pleaded the cause of poor, starving chil- 
dren in our great cities, or labored in any- 
other way for the removal of human distress 
and want, that God should appoint. It was 
under the like impression — pity for the 
poor, helpless inebriate, whose woes and 
sorrows he so well understood — that he be- 
came, after a time, a public lecturer upon 
temperance. 

In the winter of 1849, we find, from his 
journal, that he lectured in Hopkinton, in 
Milford, in both parishes in Medway, in 
Rockville, in Pawtucket, and at other 
places in Massachusetts. How his lectures 
were received, we cannot say. One of 
them, delivered (as the title informs us), 
" in Pawtucket, and in several other places,' 9 
was published, and is now before me. It is 
forcibly written, after the manner of the 
Washingtonians, detailing, at length, his 
own terrible experience as an inebriate, and 
warning others to save themselves from the 



REV. HARRISON FAIRFIELD. 135 

same destruction, by the only sure path 
that is open to them — the pledge of total 
and eternal abstinence. We find also 
among his papers, a very able and in- 
structive lecture on the different causes 
and forms of insanity; but whether he 
ever delivered it in public, we cannot 
say. 

The steps of his recovery to God and 
happiness, from the great sins into which 
he plunged himself in early life, have been 
detailed in the foregoing narrative. They 
were slow and gradual, as he says — step by 
step— one error and prejudice being given 
up after another — until, on the first 
Sabbath in September, 1851, he was re- 
stored, a happy member, to the church 
which he first joined just twenty years 
before. 

In the summer of 1852, Mr. F. came, 
by the advice and assistance of friends, 
to Bangor, and commenced studying, with 
a view to the ministry. In the autumn of 
the same year he entered the Seminary, 



136 MEMOIR OP THE 

and continued a member of it two years. 
He was known in the seminary as a diligent 
student ; also as a man of genius and of 
deep piety. He was modest in his deport- 
ment, not forward to speak, but whenever 
he did speak, was listened to with much 
attention. His written performances were 
able and interesting. During the latter 
half of his senior year, he frequently 
preached in the vicinity of Bangor, and 
always with good acceptance. 

With the exception of occasional seasons 
of depression, he seems to have been in a 
happy frame of mind, during his residence 
at Bangor ; for he felt that he was in 
the path of duty, and was preparing for an 
employment altogether congenial to his 
feelings and hopes. It was feared, how- 
ever, by those who knew him best, that his 
nervous system, naturally delicate, had 
been fatally shattered by those scenes of in- 
temperance and misery, through which he 
had passed. He had violated, fearfully, 
the laws of his physical being ; and for 



EEV. HARRISON FAIRFIELD. 137 

such violation there has been no atone- 
ment, and there is no forgiveness. 

He left the Seminary in the summer 
of 1854, and soon after commenced his 
ministerial labors in Bristol, Me., where he 
continued till his death in the following 
summer. Of the regard in which he was 
held by his people, and the success of 
his labors among them, 1 have the fol- 
lowing account from his successor, Eev. 
T. A. Merrill :— 

" Mr. Fairfield secured the respect and 
the sympathy of the more intelligent and 
thoughtful portion of the community. He 
was rapidly gaining a very strong hold 
upon the people. His preaching was of a 
searching character, dealing much with the 
consciences of his hearers, and faithfully 
and skillfully applying the word of God to 
them. His sermons were full of strong, ■ 
healthy nutriment for the mind and heart ; 
though not written always in a style best 
adapted to please the popular ear. His 



138 MEMOIR OP THE 

manner was such as to carry the conviction 
to all that he was a true minister of Jesus 
Christ, sincere, earnest, humble, godly. It 
was a frequent remark among Christians, 
that in prayer he seemed to have ' power 
with God.' 

" He took great interest in visiting the 
sick and the afflicted. Two very intelligent 
young ladies died in joyful hope — one 
of them just before, and the other a little 
after, his death. Through his faithful 
efforts and fervent prayers, both of them 
were brought to see their guilt and 
danger, and to commit themselves into 
the hands of Christ. Under his brief 
labors, some ten or twelve persons were 
led to indulge a hope in the mercy of 
God." 

These ten or twelve hopeful converts 
were the first fruits of a revival of religion, 
springing up under the faithful ministry of 
Mr. Fairfield. It soon appeared, however, 
that the increased labor and excitement 



REV. HARRISON FAIRFIELD. 139 

Incident to the revival, were too much for 
his enfeebled nervous system. He first 
faltered, and then broke down entirely; 
and after lingering until the 11th day of 
July, 1855, he died. 

During his sickness, (owing in part to 
the state of his nerves, but more, probably, 
to the remedies which were administered), 
he was inclined to converse but little. He 
became lethargic, stupid, and for several of 
the last days almost unconscious, in which 
state he quietly passed away. He had 
delivered his message while in health. He 
could say but little for God or religion 
in his sickness. 

" A very large assembly," says Mr. 
Merrill, " were drawn together at his 
funeral, which was attended in the meeting- 
house, where he had preached the gospel 
with so much power. The services were 
conducted, and a sermon preached, by the 
Rev. E. G. Carpenter, of Newcastle. He 
was interred in the village burial-ground at 



140 MEMOIR OF THE 

Bristol. A neat stone, with his name and 
age inscribed, marks the place where he 
was laid. Never was a deceased minister 
more sincerely mourned for by a people, than 
Mr. Fairfield. They speak of him now as 
a godly man, a man of faith, and remem- 
ber him with great respect and affec- 
tion." 

The righteous Providence, which so ar- 
rested him, when bent upon self-destruc- 
tion — had conquered at a stroke his great 
enemy, the love of strong drink — and 
having done this, had gradually restored 
him to the confidence of friends, and 
his standing in the church, and had even 
honored him, putting him into the min- 
istry ; — and now, almost as soon as he 
begins to exercise his ministry, and find 
success in it in the conversion of souls, he 
is smitten down and taken away. A dark, 
mysterious providence, truly ! And yet 
we know that it was ordered in infinite 
wisdom and goodness. The reasons of it 



REV. HARRISON FAIRFIELD. 141 

have been made plain ere this to the tried 
sufferer; and they will ere long be un- 
derstood perfectly by surviving friends. 
" What I do, thou knowest not now, but 
thou shalt know hereafter." 



142 MEMOIR OF THE 



CHAPTER XI. 

Concluding Remarks by the Editor— Those by Mr. F. approved — 
The Question of Mr. Fairfield's Conversion considered— His Case 
teaches us both the Goodness and the Severity of God — It also 
teaches the Power of the Gospel to Recover, to Elevate, and Save 
— Mr. F. tried Every thing else in Vain— The Value of his Experi- 
ment, and of the Testimony borne by it, to the Excellence of the 
Gospel. 

The remarks with which Mr. Fairfield con- 
cludes his narrative (chap, ix,) are ex- 
ceedingly appropriate and important. I 
refer to them here, not to repeat them, 
nor to make additions to them, but rather 
to express my approbation of them, and 
connect my counsels with his own. 

Young Christians should learn, from his 
sad fall, to be watchful and prayerful, and 
to resist (as he says), the first temptation 
to neglect the private duties of religion. 
They should early find out their easily-be- 
setting sins, and be specially watchful 



REV. HARRISON FAIRFIELD. 143 

in regard to them. It is at these points 
that Satan will make his most vigorous on- 
set. At these, therefore, let him be re- 
sisted, and effectually driven back. 

One of the most hazardous states of mind 
which a young Christian can indulge, is 
that of self-security — a feeling strong in 
himself. This was one of the errors of 
young Fairfield. He felt as though he 
could control himself; he could keep on 
the side of safety ; he should never fall 
into sin, and bring a reproach upon the 
cause of Christ. And yet he did fall. 
And so will any other young Christian fall, 
who comes to feel secure and strong in 
himself. " When I am weak," says Paul, 
" then am I strong." And the converse of 
this proposition is equally true : " When I 
am strong, then am I weak." Or to ex- 
press the sense of the whole in plainer 
terms : When the Christian feels weak — 
weak in himself; then is he strong in 
the Lord and in the power of his might. 
But when he feels strong and secure in 



144 MEMOIR OF THE 

himself, then is his strength weakness, and 
his fancied security is full of peril. " Let 
him that thinketh he standeth take heed 
lest he fall." 

The counsels of Mr. F. to young men 
on the subject of temperance, and to back- 
sliders from the ways of the Lord, are 
equally pertinent and important. " Wine 
is a mocker, and strong drink is raging ; 
and whosoever is deceived thereby is not 
wise." There is no safety for any man, young 
or old, but in entire abstinence. No young 
man means to become a drunkard ; and 
yet a great many do become such. " Touch 
not, taste not, handle not; " — let this be the 
motto inscribed on every article containing 
the poison — on every eye that sees it, and 
the soul that desires it ; and the world is 
safe. The generation of drunkards will 
soon be among the things that were. 

And to the man who has already fallen — 
fallen foully, and to human view hopelessly 
— the example of Mr. F. is full of encour- 
agement. Who ever declined to greater 



REV. HARRISON FAIRFIELD. 145 

lengths than he ? Who was ever in a more 
miserable and desperate condition ? And 
yet, by the grace of God, he was re- 
covered. He was restored, as we trust, to 
the Divine favor, and to confidence and use- 
fulness among his fellow-men. His upward 
path was, indeed, long and perilous — much 
longer than it should have been. It was 
deeply humiliating, and in some of its 
stages rugged and painful. Yet he took it ; 
he persevered in it ; and it led him out 
to safety ; it led him up to pardon and 
peace. His example, then, as I said, is 
full of encouragement to others, in like 
circumstances. Let them not despair, and 
rush on to perdition ; but let them " return 
unto the Lord who will have mercy upon 
them, and to our God, for he will abun- 
dantly pardon." 

But I need not dwell longer on these 
topics, which Mr. F. has treated so well. 
One of the first questions suggested by the 
narrative over which we have passed is 
this : what are we to think of Mr. Fair- 
is 



146 MEMOIR OF THE 

field's case, previous to his fall ? Was 
he really converted, as he supposed, in 
early life ; and is he to be regarded, in his 
subsequent wanderings, in the light of a 
backslider ? Or are we to suppose that he 
was not truly converted, until his restora- 
tion ? 

After all that I know of the case, both 
from the narrative and from my acquaint- 
ance with the man, I am constrained to 
believe that he was converted in early life. 
His wanderings were indeed long and fear- 
ful ; and yet, through the whole course 
of them, I am constrained to regard him, 
not as an apostate, but a backslider. My 
reasons for this opinion are the follow- 
ing. 

1. I am sure that this was the opinion of 
Mr. Fairfield, who certainly knew himself 
better than others could know him, and 
who was entirely capable, in the latter 
part of his life, of forming an intelligent 
judgment in the case. In his narrative 
he speaks — (as he always did in conversa- 



REV. HARRISON FAIRFIELD. 147 

tion) — of his early conversion as his conver- 
sion — and the only proper conversion of 
which he was ever the subject. His ex- 
perience in after life was, as he thought, 
but a revival, in higher degrees, of his im- 
pressions and feelings. 

2. His exercises, at the time of his early 
conversion, and for years afterwards, were, 
so far as we can judge, highly satisfactory. 
He had deep convictions of sin ; he had a 
spiritual apprehension of Christ, as the 
great deliverer from sin and death ; and 
he put his whole trust in Christ, enjoyed 
his presence and his love, and seems to 
have walked closely and consistently with 
him. Few young Christians, I think, are 
so scrupulously exact in the performance 
of private religious duties, and so strictly 
watchful against temptation, as was young 
Fairfield, at this interesting period of his 
life. 

3. The experience of Mr. F., through 
the whole season of his declension, was not 
exactly that of a hardened reprobate, who 



148 MEMOIR OF THE 

had never known the truth, but rather 
that of a wandering soul, who was sinning 
against good principles, and occasional 
good impulses and aspirations, which were 
too deeply implanted to be ever eradicated. 
Thus we see him trying to be a Universal- 
ist, but never fully succeeding. The doc- 
trines of depravity, and of atonement by 
the blood of Christ, he repeatedly tells us, 
were so inwrought into the very texture of 
his being, that he could never renounce 
them. When he spoke, as he sometimes 
did, of hating evangelical religion, he had 
an abiding conviction of its truth. While 
he indulged his prejudices against his 
former religious friends and the church, he 
remembered the comforts of the old prayer- 
meetings, and yearned for their renewal. 
The witnessing of a communion season 
during the period of his declension, and 
even the sight of his old friend, the Christ- 
ian Mirror, awakened feelings which 
almost overpowered him. In short, his ex- 
perience, even in the lowest depths to 



REV. HARRISON FAIRFIELD. 149 

which he descended, was not that, as I 
said, of a hardened reprobate, but rather 
that of a wandering, deluded soul, who 
could not forget his former comforts, — his 
Father's bosom, and his Saviour's love. 
And hence the intensity, often, of his 
mental sufferings. I suppose he suffered 
inexpressibly more than a hardened sinner 
would have done in like circumstances ; for 
he had to contend against, not only reason, 
and conscience, and the word of God, but 
the ineradicable impulses of Christian prin- 
ciple and feeling, and the strivings of the 
Holy Spirit. 

I am one of those who believe that the 
true Christian never so falls away, as to 
become like the impenitent soul. His holy 
purposes, though strangely wandered from, 
are not utterly renounced. His holy 
desires, though for the time smothered and 
concealed, are not entirely quenched. He 
sins, but not as he once did, with his whole 
heart. He cannot so sin, because he is 
born of God* (L John 3:9). And this 



150 MEMOIR OF THE 

seems to have been the case with Mr. Fair- 
field, during the dark period of his declen- 
sion. He fell far away, very far. He per- 
sisted in his wanderings longer than back- 
sliders commonly do. Satan desired to 
have him, and did have him, to sift him as 
wheat. But the implanted seed of religious 
principle and affection, was not lost. It 
remained alive within him, and, through 
the abounding grace of God, it at length 
sprung up, and brought forth precious 
fruit. 

The case of Mr. F., which has been 
detailed in the foregoing narrative, should 
impress upon us both the goodness and the 
severity of God. Here is goodness dis" 
played, in the early conversion of this 
young man, and in the abundant grace 
which seems, for a time, to have been 
bestowed upon him ; — and goodness, more 
especially, in bearing with him through the 
long, dark period of his declension, and in 
ultimately raising him from his state of 
sin, and restoring him to that Divine love 



REV. HARRISON FAIRFIELD. 151 

and favor which he had so richly forfeited. 
This was little less than a miracle of mercy 
— a most illustrious display of long-suffering 
goodness and grace. And so the subject of 
this memoir ever afterwards regarded it. 
He never tired in speaking of that won- 
drous love, which appeared for him when 
he was a scoffing inebriate, sunk to 
the lowest depths of degradation and 
misery, and led him back to holiness and 
peace. 

But while God displayed, in this in- 
stance, such astonishing goodness, his good- 
ness was not unmingled with severity. Mr. 
F. never entirely recovered from the effects 
of his intemperance, and never could. 
His sins, we trust, were forgiven, so far as 
regards the proper penalty of the Divine 
law, but their physical consequences re- 
mained upon him, and brought him to 
an early grave. The injury he had in- 
flicted upon his nervous system was incur- 
able ; and so soon as he was brought into 
circumstances of peculiar interest, labor, 



152 MEMOIR OF THE 

and responsibility, he faltered and fell. 
Behold, therefore, in this instance, as in a 
thousand others, the goodness and the 
severity of God — goodness, in forgiving 
and saving the returning soul ; severity, in 
the natural, physical consequences of in- 
dulged sin, running on and bringing forth 
their appropriate fruits in debility and 
death. 

We learn further, from the case of Mr. 
F., the power of the gospel, and that alone, 
to recover, to elevate and save. This is a 
theme on which the subject of the narrative 
before us loved to dwell. Very often, in 
conversation, have we heard him refer to it, 
quoting, with peculiar emphasis, the de- 
claration of Paul : "I am not ashamed of 
the gospel of Christ ; for it is the power of 
God unto salvation to every one that 
believeth." (Rom. 1 : 16.) 

In his search after happiness, during the 
dark period of his declension, Mr. F. 
sought out and tried almost every thing, 
aside from the gospel. He tried the intox- 



REV. HARRISON FAIRFIELD. 153 

icating cup. He tried several forms of 
Universalism. He tried Swedenborgianism, 
and Fourierism. He tried the society 
of those who sneered and scoffed at the 
religion of the Bible, and essayed to be a 
scoffer with them ; and what was the con- 
sequence t Did he find the happiness 
he sought ? Let his own recorded expe- 
rience answer. He often thought that he 
was making progress, and should soon 
reach the object of his pursuit ; whereas he 
was constantly waxing worse and worse, 
becoming more and more degraded and 
wretched, until not only his former friends, 
but his wicked associates despaired of him, 
and thrust him from them; until he was 
brought to seek a refuge, repeatedly, in 
a mad-house, and in one instance, 
attempted to end his sorrows with his 
life. 

And in this depth of misery, what was it 
that raised him up, and restored him to 
life and peace ? It was the gospel of 
Christ — that blessed gospel from which he 



154 MEMOIR OP THE 

had wickedly departed, but which he could 
not utterly renounce. When all other ex- 
pedients had failed, he was led to return to 
his first love — he began to do his first 
works. By a rugged but wholesome path, 
he came back from his broken cisterns 
to the fountain of living waters ; and then 
he could say, with an emphasis unknown 
before, " Other foundation can no man lay 
than that is laid, which is Jesus Christ." 
The gospel, and that alone, " is the power 
of God unto salvation to every one that 
believeth." 

God raises up individuals, from time 
to time, to bear testimony before the world 
to this great fact in their own experience. 
Such was Solomon, in ancient times. He 
had abundant means for pursuing all 
earthly sources of enjoyment, and he 
resolved to try them on the widest scale. 
And having made one experiment after 
another, and found them all " vanity and 
vexation of spirit," he comes out, at last, 
with the grand conclusion : " Fear God, 



REV. HARRISON FAIRFIELD. 155 

and keep his commandments, for this is the 
whole dnty of man." 

And so it was in a smaller and more 
private way with Harrison Fairfield. It 
may be said of him, as it was of Solomon 
in early life, that " he loved the Lord 
exceedingly, and walked in his ways ; " 
but Satan was permitted to gain an advan- 
tage over him, and led him astray. In his 
wanderings, like Solomon, he turned first 
to this thing for happiness, and then to that, 
and then to a third, and a fourth, until, 
wearied with disappointment and defeat, 
he returns to his Bible and the gospel, and 
finds rest to his troubled soul. 

To make this experiment — to bear this 
testimony to the gospel — was undoubtedly 
one of the ends for which Harrison Fair- 
field was raised up. He expected to do 
much good as a minister of Christ ; but in 
this he was disappointed. His race was 
soon run. His career of usefulness, when 
he had once fairly entered upon it, was 
short. He was permitted to gather in 



156 MEMOIR OF THE 

some precious first fruits, and then was 
called to lay down the sickle. A protracted 
ministry was not the means of usefulness 
allotted to him. 

Still he did not live in vain. He was 
raised up, as I said, for another purpose. 
He was to bear a testimony such as, without 
his distressing experience, he could not 
bear, to the power and excellence of the 
gospel, as the only deliverer from sin and 
death. And that the value of the experi- 
ment might not be confined to a narrow 
circle, he was led to prepare the narrative 
above given, appropriately entitled by him- 
self, " The Wreck and the Rescue" — the 
Wreck accomplished through the delusive 
suggestions of error and of sin ; the Rescue, 
by the power of God's holy truth, set home 
by the accompanying influences of his 
Spirit. 

And as the preparation of this Memoir — 
so painful and humiliating in some of its 
aspects to the writer — may be regarded as 
among the most important works of his 



REV. HARRISON FAIRFIELD. 157 

life ; so the editing of it, and giving it 
to the world, is but the carrying out of the 
same design. Such, at least, have been 
the leading motive and object of the editor. 
He was unwilling that a narrative, prepared 
under such circumstances, and for such an 
end, and designed by the author for publi- 
cation, should be lost. He was unwilling 
that the important lessons contained in 
it, and the convincing testimony borne 
by it, should not be read out before the 
world. The Lord grant that these lessons 
of instruction and warning may be duly 
heeded ; and that this striking testimony to 
the power and value of the gospel, may not 
be borne in vain. 



THE END, 



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